AnnLanders.com, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Section: behavior, children, health-and-wellness
 
 

Dear Margo,
I am concerned about the advice you gave "Befuddled," the teenager who was afraid her girlfriend, "Lottie," might be a lesbian because she slept in the nude when they shared a bed. You told her to continue the friendship but not to accept any more invitations to sleep over. Your response left me with a sinking feeling. When friends are uneasy about something like this, it is not OK to ignore it. Also, a friendship that is not based on trust can be hollow at best. As a woman who works with lesbian and gay young people, I find it highly unlikely that Lottie is a lesbian. If such were the case, she would not have risked a negative reaction from her friend. Rejection from those they care about is one of the principal concerns of gay youth. All teenagers, gay and straight, should be encouraged to be honest with their peers and not engage in deception. If the writer has worries and does not deal with them directly, the friendship will suffer. Please let her know that being gay is not the issue. The real issue is empowering young people to be forthright and vocal with each other about situations that make them uncomfortable. Staying silent accomplishes nothing and leaves them frustrated and confused. -- C.M. in the Southwest

Yesterday's Response:

Dear C.M.,
I had several complaints about my response to that letter and am inclined to think my answer was a dog. Your last sentence is a far better response. Thanks for cleaning up after me.

Today's Response:

,
rf. The original response was a dog. The woman who pointed this out is certainly qualified, and she makes a lot of sense. (PS. Some teenagers are quite casual about nudity, others are not. Same for grown-ups.)
- Margo

Tags: margo


Share this Column with Friends




What do you think?
Comments:

A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back. I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But after my friend introduced me to Dr Kala the great messenger of Kala healing home, I narrated my problem to him on how my Husband left me and my two kids. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what he needs from me to cast the spell and I provided it for him and he told me to wait that my husband is going to call me in the next 24hrs. To my greatest surprise my husband called me on the phone and was begging for forgiveness for living me and the kids and he came back home and begged me to forgive him for the pains he put me through. I am so happy and overwhelmed that my husband is back to me and i have to tell this to the entire world to let anyone out there who is having marriage and relationship issues to contact Dr Kala on his personal email: [email protected] or WhatsApp him on 2347051705853 and get all your problem solve. No problem is too big for him to solve and i assure you that he will also help you to get your ex back after separation or divorce.
 
Please share your comments below:








Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

Tell us what you think?

Popular Columns

Tag Cloud


Ask a Question
or
Post a Comment

"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers