AnnLanders.com - Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married for 30 years.
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Dear Ann Landers,
My husband and I have been married for 30 years. He is Italian, and I am Canadian. I speak only English. Whenever we are with my mother-in-law, she and my husband speak nothing but Italian. My husband doesn't see anything wrong with this, even though I am left totally out of the conversation. He says the language is part of his heritage and it makes his mother happy. I would be more understanding if my mother-in-law could not speak English, but she speaks it very well. When our children were growing up, I never made an issue of it because I wanted the children to feel close to their grandparents, but now, it is bothering me to no end. I feel completely excluded and avoid being with just the two of them. I say they are terribly rude. What do you say? -- Excluded and Offended

Dear Ex.,
I think you should have learned to speak Italian a long time ago. Get some elementary Italian grammar books at the public library, and ask your husband to help you. Start practicing with him. I'll bet he will be pleased, and your mother-in-law will be astonished.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Lisa's Comment
There's another layer of something going on with that couple. Learning to speak Italian may result in a pause, but the husband and his mother are going out of their way to exclude the wife--why?
 
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