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Section: manners, relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Your advice to "A Split Opinion in the Midwest" left a lot to be desired. The woman who wrote wanted to keep her maiden name after marriage. Her husband, however, insisted that she take HIS name. You suggested she compromise by using her maiden name professionally and her husband's name socially. I compromised by hyphenating our names when we married. It's made my husband happy, but I feel a tinge of resentment every time I sign my name. Of course, it is too late to change back to my maiden name, because people will assume we are getting a divorce, so I am stuck with my hyphenated name. There are few things in life as personal as one's name. "Split's" fiance should not ask her to do something he would not be willing to do himself. After all, SHE is the one who has to live with her choice, not him. A fiance should make only those decisions regarding HIS name and give his future wife the same privilege. -- Mrs. Been There-Done That

Dear Mrs. BT-DT,
You are not the only one who thought my "compromise" was less than ideal. Here are some additional letters on the subject: From West Hartford, Conn.: Your "compromise" was a cop-out, Ann. Maintaining two names will not last, and "Split's" name will be the one that falls by the wayside. I not only kept my own name, but with my husband's encouragement, our two daughters also have my last name. I admit it can be confusing on occasion, but in 16 years, I have never regretted my decision. Kansas City, Kan.: I changed my name because I believed it was silly to hold out when my fiance and I loved each other so much. Ten years and one divorce later, I see it differently. His insistence on my name change was the first in a long list of things he did to control me. He told me how to wear my hair, what clothes to buy, what couples to spend time with, where to take our vacations, what time I was to wake up on the weekends, and how long I could talk on the phone to family members and friends. If her fiance threatens not to marry her if she doesn't change her name, she should run as fast as she can in the opposite direction. The man is a control freak. San Diego: In 1964, I was madly in love. When I told my fiance I wanted to keep my maiden name, he said, with tears in his eyes, "You don't love me." His mother said, "What if you have children? People will think they are illegitimate." Hyphenating Di Napoli-Poffenberger was ludicrous, so I caved in. I cannot describe the feelings I had about disappearing as an individual. I did not receive class-reunion invitations, and my friends could not find my name in the phone book. Twenty-five years later, I told my husband I was going back to my maiden name and that he should know I loved him by now. It was a pain in the neck to change everything, and some of our friends asked if we were splitting up, but it was worth the hassle. Please tell that bride who wrote to stick to her guns. Buffalo, N.Y.: I just read this in the Buffalo News. I hope you will print it. When a 29-year-old man took his wife's last name, he was accused of trying to ingratiate himself to his new father-in-law, a powerful attorney. The man said, "My maiden name was a big hassle. I had to get a court order, and my credit-card companies still don't believe me." Surprisingly, the easiest thing to change was his Social Security card. After all, to the government, he's only a number.

Tags: marriage


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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Florence charlott's Comment
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Hanna Rosin's Comment
Thank you sir for your genuine spells. This is really incredible, and I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Before i met you Sir, i have tried every possible means that i could to get my wife back, but i actually came to realize that nothing was working out for me, and that my wife had developed lot of hatred for me.. I thought there was no hope to reunite with my ex wife and kids. But when i read good reviews about your work sir, i decided to give it a try and i did everything that you instructed me and i Trusted in you and followed your instructions just as you have guaranteed me in 48 hours, and that was exactly when my wife called me.. We are more contented now than ever. Everything looks perfect and so natural! Thank you so much for your authentic and indisputable spells. Thanks Sir for your help. So I promise to tell the world about you great If you need help in your marriage of broken relationship,please contact Dr Osasu right now for urgent help WhatsApp 2347064365391 or Email [email protected] I want every one who is facing any problem should also give a testimony soon. Just like me today

louis edmond's Comment
My name is Louis Edmond, I am from USA. I want to share a testimony about Dr Aluya, a great spell caster who is very straight forward with his words of casting spells. When my Wife left me for another Man i was so confused,but one a day a friend of mine gave me the email address of this great spell caster called dr Aluya, I contacted this man and explained to him all that i was going through,he then told me to be calm and not worry anymore because my case is a very easy one. At first I never believed all that he was saying until when my husband returned home two days later begging me to forgive him for all that he had done to me and to please accept him back into my life,I was so amazed,I never believed it was going to happen that fast. This man is truly great indeed. Contact him today for a perfect solution to your love problem, [email protected]  or whatsApp him   2348110493039

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Hi everyone, my name is Rabueil Islam  and am from London, I met this spell caster called Dr Aluya of [email protected] online and so many other, but i decided to go with this particular spell caster and this is about 2 weeks ago. I needed the spell caster to reunite me and my lover because she started behaving strange and a day came she text me and told me she cannot continue with the relationship anymore, that she just want to be alone. But a close friend of hers shows the guy to me that she was now dating. So i contacted this spell caster because i was totally heart broken and i smoked and get drunk till i could not even notice if am standing or lying.This spell caster told me not to worry, he gave me hope that am to have her again just like old times, and i provided all the requirements, and in just 5 days, my ex lover called me crying over the phone asking for me to forgive her for her stupid act, and she swore with her mother grave to love me and never hurt me again.This was what the spell caster earlier told me and it came after he has done the spell and that same night, my lover came to my house and spend the night with me.I have never seen spell as powerful as this but now, am convinced that Dr Aluya is the best ever, You can contact him through him email address:[email protected] or WhatsApp: 2348110493039

Debra Gibbs's Comment
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lara's Comment
I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution. My husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed help, so I did some research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Aluya a spell caster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family. You can as well contact Dr.  Aluya  , a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact [email protected] or directly on Whats App: 2348110493039         [email protected]      https://draluya48hoursspelltemple.webs.com/  

lara's Comment
My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Aluya can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Two days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Aluya . If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. This is his E-mail: [email protected]    OR       [email protected]  WhatsApp  2348110493039  

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sandra lopez's Comment
I was searching for help on the internet to get my ex husband back after he divorced me 5 months ago, i came across so many testimonies from different people and they are all talking about this wonderful man called Doctor silver on how he help them to save their marriage and relationships and i also contact him on his email ([email protected]) and explain my problem to him and he did a nice job by helping me to get my divorced husband back within 48 hours.. I never believe that such things like this can be possible but now i am a living testimony to it because Doctor silver actually brought my lover back, If you are having any relationship problems why not contact Doctor silver for help via email: [email protected] or whatsapp 2348123877102 Then i promise you that after 48 hours you will have reasons to celebrate like me.

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Texi's Comment
Ms. Been There, Done That. If your maiden name means that much to you...stay single. Our, soon-to-be married granddaughter wanted to keep her maiden name and asked me about it. I told her if you love a man enough to follow the tradition of marriage and have his children, why wouldn't you take his name? She's now happy changing her name.

Zara Mateo's Comment
Thank you sir for your genuine spells. I'm Zara Matteo by name. This is really incredible, and I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Before i met you Sir, i have tried every probable means that i could to get my husband back, but i actually came to realize that nothing was working out for me, and that my husband had developed lot of hatred for me. I thought there was no hope to reunite with my ex husband. But when i read good reviews about how DR ISIKOLO help others, I decided to message him at: 1-725-240-4536. to give it a try and i did everything that he instructed me and i Trusted in him and followed his instructions just as he have guaranteed me in 48 hours, and that was exactly when my ex called me. Sir We are more contented now than ever. Everything looks perfect and so natural! Thank you so much Sir for your authentic and indisputable spells. here again his Email: [email protected] You can also Whatsapp him on 1-725-240-4536. His direct page: https://isikololovetemple.com

Linda Coombs's Comment
I am very thankful to Dr Sam for helping me get my ex lover back and this make me very excited that i came online here to post about his work I make a promise to him that if he got my ex lover to me in 24 hours, i will make a great testimony and bring many people who needs help. his spiritual temple is in Africa and he has been in this work and helped so many people. He is a great spell caster and can help you no matter where you are. My lover is now back with me and this spell caster brought my lover back to me in 24 hours, someone who left me for years contact Dr Sam today and get your problem solved you can also reach him On his Gmail. [email protected] or Whats App 2349060421250

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Ann Robinson's Comment
I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back. It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. I was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, so i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact this great powerful spell caster called Dr. Mkuru, The main reason why she instructed me to contact Dr. Mkuru was because in recent times she have read some testimonies on the internet which some people has written about the powerful spell caster Dr. Mkuru and i was so pleased and i decided to seek for assistance from him which he did a perfect job by casting a spell on my husband and utilize the powers of the other woman which made him to come back to me and beg for forgiveness. I will not stop publishing his name on the net because of the good work he is doing. To everyone with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Mkuru the powerful urgent spell caster via details below Email: ([email protected]) Blog; https://drmkuruonlinespellcaster.blogspot.com/ Call/WhatsApp: 2349075998982

Ann Robinson's Comment
I live in USA, ohio, I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2 years ago, which lead to our break up. I was not myself again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Doctor Mkuru. I email the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening , less than two days my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me i was so happy to have him back to me. The most interesting part of the story is that am pregnant. Thanks to Doctor Mkuru for saving my marriage and for also saving others own too. Continue your good work Dr mkuru.. If you are interested to contact the great spell caster Email address: ([email protected] ) or whatsApp 2349075998982 You can visit his Blog: https://drmkuruonlinespellcaster.blogspot.com/

Celine's Comment
HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Owo. I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for 5 year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Lisa who told me about a spell caster called Dr Owo , She gave me his contact [email protected]\ WhatsApp 1 (717) 473-7391 I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle, i couldn't conceive but as soon as the priest pray for me, i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child, My heart is filled up of happiness to share my life marriage and relationship story with you over here. If you need any assistance from him you can contact him via WhatsApp: 1 (717) 473-7391

Karla's Comment
I am so happy to share this fantastic testimony of mine. My life has changed round completely in 48hours. I can see myself in the mirror and smile. I have confidence in myself and my abilities for the first time in ages. I have my boyfriend back in my life with the help of Dr Oniha. He said sorry a 24hours after the spell was created. He said he realised that he never really wanted to break up he could not handle emotional baggage I was carrying around all the time. He said that he thought he was the negative influence on my life and thought it best to leave. He said it was hard that I kept talking about the past all the time. We have both forgiven each other. I have money in my pocket that is my own at last. (My compensation cheque came through I was told it was months away. I am living proof of what Dr Oniha can do. I thank you so much Dr Oniha for the wonderful thing you did in my relationship. I am so happy now. With your help we were both able to see and speak the truth to each other. I never thought a spell could help a couple before I am very pleased contacted you and initiated all this to happen. Anyone who have a relationship problem can contact Dr Oniha. EMAIL:[email protected] Call/Whatsapp number:  16692213962
 
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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers