Dear Ann Landers, Please help me figure this out. I am seven months pregnant, and my husband still hasn't told his mother. She lives in another city. We already have one child, so it's not as if she doesn't know we are sleeping together.
My husband obviously doesn't have a close relationship with his mother, but this example of poor communication makes me uncomfortable. I wanted to tell her, but he said he wanted to do it himself. Meanwhile, he keeps putting it off. My mother-in-law phoned the other day, and I didn't know what to say when she asked, "How are you doing?"
Should I tell her I'm pregnant or just wait until the baby is born? I'm pretty sure my husband won't have any trouble telling her then. -- Infanticipating in Berkeley, Calif.
Dear Berkeley, Tell her yourself, and the sooner the better. Apparently, your husband has some kind of hang-up about his mother. So, my dear, out with it.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Mary C's Comment
Agree, tell her. But tell your husband you are telling her. Honesty is essential at this moment. The mother-in-law will likely forgive her son for this "oversight", but she may not forgive her daughter-in-law! Use this opportunity to strengthen your bond with your m-i-l. She will be your child's grand mother, after all.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.