, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Section: marriage, health-and-wellness

Dear Margo,
I just turned 25, and my mother is trying to marry me off to the son of one of her friends. I have an excellent job and am not worried about being unattached. I don't date much, which is OK for now. My mother told her friend which days I had off so her son could see me. He called my mother, and she set up a lunch date for next week. Of course, I have to go. My mother has talked about my dating situation with my aunt and my sister, and now, I am beginning to feel pressured on all sides. I tried to explain to Mom how demeaning this is, but she became hostile and said she is only trying to help me. Don't get me wrong, Ann. I love my mother, and we get along fine, but this is more than I can take. My mother is desperate for me to get married, but I'm not interested in wedding bells at this point in my life. Even if the guy turns out to be great, I still resent my mother's maneuvering. What can I do about this galling situation? -- Oahu Mess

Yesterday's Response:

Dear Oahu,
You can tell your mother you do not want her to arrange any more dates and that if she tries, you will refuse to go. Then, keep your word.

Today's Response:

Dear Oahu,
You can tell your mother you do not want her to arrange any more dates and that if she tries, you will refuse to go. Then, keep your word. You also might try to help her understand that it is not organic for parents to set their children up if the young people are not asking for these introductions. Tell her if she is sincere in wanting to help you, she will respect your wishes and the pace at which you are comfortable going. Try to remember this, though, when you feel ready: a few marriages have taken place when two mothers got together...
- Margo

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers