, Advice by Ann Landers - []
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Section: sexuality, relationships, aging

Dear Ann Landers,
You asked your readers for their views on older women marrying younger men and vice versa. I was married for 28 years to a man my own age. He divorced me and married a woman who was younger than our children. Since then, I have dated men of all ages. The older men I went out with seemed to have no sense of humor and very little passion for life. Many wanted a nurse for their old age and treated me like a dumb blonde. I am now dating a man who is 10 years younger than I am. He is confident and sure of himself. He is not controlling, jealous or condescending. We can be silly and laugh a lot, and we can also engage in serious discussions. Some of my friends assumed the only thing we had in common was sex. Others told me to be careful because younger guys are usually looking for a mother figure. Nevertheless, anyone who has spent time with us can see that we are well suited to each other. We share the same values and have similar interests. Whether or not anything will come of this, I don't know, but I enjoy his company and think the world of him. With a relationship as solid as ours, age is irrelevant. -- "Older Woman" Out East

Dear Woman,
A few years ago, I wrote a book, and one of the chapter titles was "Age Is Only a Number, Baby!" I believed it then, and I believe it now. Some men are old at 25; others are young at 65. It's what goes on between the eyebrows and the hairline and not farther down. Here's more on the subject:

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
If people are truly compatible and fully aware of the possible consequences when one partner reaches "old age" and the other one is still young, I don't see a problem with an older woman marrying a younger man. However, people do need to look at the whole picture, including changes that will occur as you age, especially if the age difference is really extreme.
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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other."
-Ann Landers