AnnLanders.com, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Our Featured Columns from the Archives:
Section: manners, relationships, work
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a postal clerk, and every day, I see many cards, letters and packages sent to our mail recovery center (formerly known as the dead letter branch) because people do not put return addresses on the items they mail. I find it disturbing when mail that is undeliverable cannot be returned to the senders to let them know it didn't reach its destination. Think of the thank you notes, love letters, invitations and condolence cards that never got delivered because of illegible addresses. And imagine the hard feelings, disappointment, misunderstandings and broken relationships that resulted because senders didn't take the time to write their return addresses. When there is no acknowledgment of having received the gift, the sender assumes the recipient has poor manners. This problem could be remedied so easily. Return address labels are inexpensive, and it takes only a minute to affix them. Please, Ann, do your readers and the Postal Service a favor by printing this letter. It really IS important. -- Concerned Postal Clerk in N. Dakota

Read the Response



Section: relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I read something in the paper a while back that gave me an idea. I need your advice on whether to do it. The problem: a husband who would rather go fishing and hunting with the boys than be with me.

The following news story appeared on the Associated Press wire:

A woman in Isanti, Minn., got fed up with her husband's absenteeism. He, too, was a fishing and hunting nut. She ran the following ad on his birthday:

"Husband for sale cheap. Comes complete with hunting and fishing equipment. Also one pair of jeans, two shirts, a Lab retriever and 25 pounds of deer meat. Not home much between September and January or April through October. Will consider trade."

When the first few calls came from interested women, her husband thought it was amusing. But by the second day, the phone was ringing off the wall. He didn't think it was so funny.

A few days later, she ran a second ad saying it was all a joke and she had decided to keep her husband after all. I'd say the little lady scored a victory.

How about it, Ann? Should I do likewise?
--Fifty Pounds of Deer Meat, 30 Quails, 40 Mallards, 20 Trout and 2 Marlins

Read the Response



Section: general-health, sexuality
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
My boyfriend and I have a beautiful 9-month-old baby. We live together and adore this child. Here's the problem. My cousin, "Nellie," has a boyfriend who is HIV positive. I know for a fact that she is having unprotected sex with him. I strongly suspect that Nellie is HIV positive, but I have no proof, and Nellie has never brought up the subject. When Nellie came to our house last week, she kissed our baby on his hands and face. The baby then placed his hands in her mouth and then back into his own mouth. I felt extremely uncomfortable about this, especially since the baby is teething and any kind of germ could easily get into the openings in his gums. I realize it is unlikely, if not impossible, to transmit HIV through saliva, but this still makes me uneasy. Nellie doesn't realize we are aware of her sexual behavior, because we were told in confidence. I don't know how to approach her about this and am reluctant to have her visit. Is it possible our baby will contract HIV this way? Please help me. I am turning into a nervous wreck. -- Upset Mom in Calif.

Read the Response



Section:
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
My in-laws are nice people, but they cannot seem to be on time for anything. Last Saturday, they showed up two hours late for dinner. They made the usual tiresome excuses, but there were no apologies, and I know it will happen again before long. My wife gets annoyed, but she would never confront her parents. They are extremely sensitive to criticism and sulk if anyone expresses disapproval of their behavior. I don't want to be the bad guy, but this is getting to me. You've always said, "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." How can I handle this without starting a major family feud? -- Too Many Times in Kentucky

Read the Response



Section: relationships, aging
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 24-year-old divorcee and have been dating a 63-year-old widower for the past seven months. He is not a millionaire, nor is he famous, but he has something that is almost impossible to find in men my age these days. I'm talking about integrity, maturity and a sense of responsibility. Best of all, he is a gentleman and knows how to treat a woman. This man was not looking for a trophy girlfriend. He is very much into physical fitness and wanted a woman who shared his enthusiasm for scuba diving, weightlifting, running, motorcycling and dancing. Both his family and mine have been supportive of our relationship. My parents saw me leave an abusive marriage, and his children know how much he suffered when his wife of 38 years died after a long illness. They just want us to be happy. I realize if we stay together, I may wind up being his caretaker and possibly a young widow, but I am perfectly willing to take that risk. -- May-December Magic

Read the Response



Section: children, sexuality, money, relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 26-year-old woman with a problem. When I was in high school, I cheated on my steady boyfriend with an older man. I discovered I was pregnant and was sure the older man was the father of the baby. Last December, after eight years of paying child support, the man requested a DNA test to determine paternity. I was stunned when it turned out that my daughter isn't his after all. Here's the real problem. When I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend asked if the baby was his, and I assured him it was not. That boyfriend is now happily married and has children. I have been married to a wonderful man for almost six years, and he wants to adopt my daughter. Should I try to contact my old boyfriend and disrupt his life by telling him he has a daughter? Part of me feels he is entitled to know, but another part worries that I would only mess up more lives. Please tell me what to do. -- Kitty in K.C.

Read the Response



Section: work, manners
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am sure you get many letters complaining about rude, crude and abusive sales clerks. I would like to say a word in their defense. My job is to evaluate clerks. I have a long list of people I observe, interact with and rate according to 30 factors. They have no idea who I am. I've been doing this work for five years and have visited more than 400 "installations," from small convenience stores to large department stores. I have demanded services to which I was not entitled and asked for "extras" the stores were under no obligation to provide. I have been deliberately antagonistic and sometimes downright nasty. I once tried to return an item that had been purchased at another store. The clerk took it and gave me a full credit. I have yet to find a sales clerk who was crude, rude or unpleasant. When you get letters complaining about sales clerks, I would bet they are from people who have tried to return merchandise that has obviously been used or for which they have no receipt, or the customer insisted the clerk take a credit card that had expired or been maxed out. Please don't print my name or city, Ann. It is essential that my identity not be revealed. Sign me -- Mystery Shopper in the USA

Read the Response



Section: relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Emil and I have been married forty-five years. He is seventy-two and I am sixty-five. Emil has a lot of pep for a man his age, and everyone remarks on it. He is a good dancer and keeps up with all the latest steps. At parties he is a regular cutup, plays the harmonica, and does the soft- shoe. He likes to love me up in front of company, which everyone thinks is very sweet. But Emil doesn't stop there. When we are alone he still acts like a young colt, even though I've told him such foolishness is not proper for people our age. We have fourteen grandchildren, Ann. Don't you think it's time Grampa stopped acting like a movie Romeo? When I told him I wanted to write for your ideas, he said, "Go ahead and write. Ann Landers may give you the surprise of your life." I think he is wrong and that you will side with me. How about it?--Mrs. D

Read the Response



Section: relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Three years ago I wrote to you about my husband and another woman. When I learned of the affair, I was crushed. He swore the affair meant nothing and said if I forgave him he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me. Your advice was, "Forgive and forget. Trust him. He won't fail you." Well, I took your advice, and three months ago it happened again--this time in my own home with my dearest friend. I saw it coming but decided if he was one of those men who had to cheat I'd rather he cheat with someone I know and like. Here is the problem: My husband has been so ashamed since I caught them that he can't hold up his head in this woman's presence. He doesn't want her in our house ever again. Frankly, I like this woman very much. She is wonderful company and I hate to give up her friendship.--M.L Wrong

Read the Response



Section: relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Is it adultery if a married man goes out once a week with a woman who is also married and whose husband works nights? My husband swears no sex is involved. According to him, adultery means sex between a married person and a single person. What is your verdict?--Little Egypt

Read the Response




Tag Cloud


Ask a Question
or
Post a Comment

"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers