, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Our Featured Column from the Archives: [Read More Featured Columns]
[Previous] [Next]
Section: behavior, manners, marriage

Dear Ann Landers,
I never cease to be amazed at the number of people who put an unfair burden on a bride and groom by carrying wedding presents to the reception. The couple then must arrange for one or two empty cars to haul the gifts to the couple's new home. I believe this happens for two reasons: procrastination and laziness. Many guests wait until the last minute to buy a gift, and then they bring it to the wedding rather than having it delivered. Also, some guests don't want to be bothered with wrapping a gift for mailing. You would do thousands of wedding couples a huge favor if you would urge guests to purchase and deliver gifts before the big day. If they can't manage to get the gift in advance, it is perfectly OK to send it a few days after the wedding. I hope you agree with me, Ann. -- F.W. in Zionsville, Ind.

Dear Zionsville,
You've hit on something that has stuck in my craw for ages. Thank you. Whenever I go to a wedding and see a table loaded with gifts, I feel sorry for the bride and groom or, more realistically, for their parents. What an imposition to expect them to take these presents home, keep the cards straight and so on. How much more considerate to have those gifts delivered several days before the ceremony.

Share this Column with Friends

What do you think?

A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
From a different point of view. I often attend weddings when not only is the gift brought to the wedding, but it is brought unwrapped. There is a basket or two for cards and most cards are usually put in the basket, not left with the gift. For these couples and their guest, it's about showering the couple with good wishes. No one knows who has added what to their blessings. When I know the bride well, I choose to bring a gift. If it's the groom I know best, I usually wait a week or two after the wedding and find out what items they still need for their home, or shop.

Barbara 's Comment
Oh heavens, this is cynical manipulation. If the bride/groom and family can't make arrangements for the gifts to be brought wherever they are to go, surely don't put the burden on the guest. Envelopes usually contain funds placed in a location decided by the bride/groom. A gift is something very special purchased for the Bride

Tam's Comment
Huh, How about the burden of being a wedding guest? I have found myself freezing out in cold weather ceremonies because the bride and groom insist on getting married outside. I have attended multitudes of showers, bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, cocktail parties and brunches. You got a gift - be grateful. You do expect a gift, right? Oh, but you want special delivery and not brought to the wedding. Bridezilla!!!
Please share your comments below:

Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

Tell us what you think?

Popular Columns

Tag Cloud

Ask a Question
Post a Comment

"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers