- Dear Ann Landers: Two weeks ago, when I came home from the supermarket, I found a note from my husband saying there was too much pressure in his life and he needed to get away.
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Section: relationships, behavior, marriage, mental-health

Dear Ann Landers,
Two weeks ago, when I came home from the supermarket, I found a note from my husband saying there was too much pressure in his life and he needed to get away. I immediately checked our bedroom and found that all his clothes were gone. A few days later, I learned he already had another apartment and a new phone number, which proved he had been planning his escape for quite some time. I had an awful feeling of betrayal when I realized that the person I had been sleeping next to for so many years would plan to sneak off and leave me without saying a word. The note he left said he would contact me in a few days. It has been nearly a week, and I haven't heard from him. My friends tell me I should phone him and find out exactly what he has in mind, but I don't want to do that. After all, he is the one who left, and I think he should make the first move. Please give me some advice. -- Confused in the Midwest

Dear Midwest,
Don't rush. Let the dust settle. Wait another week. If you don't hear anything by then, call and tell him you need to know what his plans are so you can make yours. You gave me no clue as to your age, how long you have been married or what your financial status is. If I knew more about your situation, I could be more helpful. Good luck.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Celia's Comment
I am reluctant to make this situation worse, but the writer should prepare herself for the possibility (probability) that hubby has a new love interest. This would speak to the 'stress' he has been under - living a double life. Before she contacts the runaway hubby, call a lawyer who specializes in family law. If hubby had planned his departure so well, it's a safe bet that the finances/bank accounts have also been 'adjusted'.

Maryann's Comment
I would run, NOT walk, to the best attorney you can find to protect yourself financially. I would also empty the bank accounts and open new ones in your name only. Hopefully, he has not already done this. Protect yourself!
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers