Dear Ann Landers,
I am getting married next year to a wonderful guy. His mother passed away when he was very young. My future father-in-law never remarried, but he has had a "significant other" for about 18 years -- it just happens to be another man.
My fiance is very close to his father's partner. He says it is like having two wonderful fathers. Would it be proper to put his partner's name on the wedding invitation? My fiance says that his father would marry his partner if it were legally possible and that his name should be on the invitation. I don't want to embarrass anyone by making a public announcement of their living arrangement, but neither do I want to offend my fiance by not including this man. How can I diplomatically resolve this? -- Fiasco in L.A.
Significant others, whether gay or straight, should not have their names on wedding invitations. Your father-in-law's partner will be very much in evidence at the festivities, so he should not feel that anyone is hiding him. To put his name on the wedding invitation as if he were a spouse would, in my opinion, be improper and invite a lot of criticism. Don't do it.