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Section: manners, behavior, health-and-wellness
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I have a very sophisticated, attractive girlfriend. She is intelligent and has a terrific job. What's the problem? She doesn't shave her legs or under her arms. I'm too embarrassed to tell her this offends me and that it is neither ladylike nor attractive. I never have dated a woman who didn't shave her legs. My girlfriend has more hair on her legs than I have on mine. I know that in Europe some women don't shave their legs, but is this socially acceptable nowadays in the United States? -- A Hairy Situation in the East

Dear East,
Unshaven armpits and hairy legs are not socially acceptable in our culture, and I cannot imagine why a sophisticated woman would not be aware of this. You should tell your friend it would please you if she would do this, although she may not. Incidentally, there are attractively packaged shaving kits for women available in drugstores everywhere. If she agrees to shave, consider giving her one.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
Grow up. Women get to choose whether or not to shave any part of their body. If this is a deal breaker for you, then break the deal. But don’t think it’s ok to make demands on how a woman grooms HER body.

Maryann's Comment
You are not making unfair demands. This would disgust a lot of people and if you ask nicely and she cares about you I think she would accommodate. The important thing is to make it a polite and gentle request. If she stomps her feet and declares her rights to her own body, let her go find another hairy ape. If she won't compromise on this, she probably won't compromise on anything else. AND, you need to be willing to make changes for her as well.

Reader Comment
Hairy legs or underarm pit are not for me!

Diana Luis's Comment
Hey,I'm so excited my broken Marriage has been restored

Reader Comment
Seriously, if body hair is a deal breaker for you, you deserve to be alone. As the two of you age, all kinds of things will happen to your bodies that will leave you looking less like a supermodel and more like a "hairy ape". There is no part of my spouse's body that means more to me than she does. If that's not the case for you, it's a pity, and you should leave her now before she gets more invested in your relationship. Geez.

Mary's Comment
We seem to have gone from a time where we wanted to please our spouses, to a time when we want to challenge our mates on each issue and be constantly arguing. That is no way to live. Folks.......if you like hairy partners, chose one! Don’t expect the men and ladies who like a nice clean shave to change for you! It is rather a personal issue of choice and comfort.
 
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers