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Section: relationships, children
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Please tell the grandparents in your reading audience to cultivate a warm and loving relationship with their grandchildren before it is too late. I have a 9-year-old son and a 7-year-old daughter. We visit my mother every week, but I'm about ready to call it quits. Every time we get together, Grandma picks on my daughter and totally ignores my son. She feels it is her place to correct and discipline them. My children's behavior is fine, Ann. They are good kids and well-behaved. My mother freaks out over issues that make very little sense and bother no one but her. Mom doesn't seem to realize that she is going to leave my children no happy memories of their grandmother. The way things stand now, they don't want to be around her because she is always "bossing them around." I love Mom dearly, but frankly, I do not LIKE her. I wish my children could enjoy having a grandmother, but this doesn't seem possible. Please, Ann, I know she reads you every day. Maybe if she sees this in the newspaper, it will help. -- J.W. in Southern Calif.

Dear Southern Cal.,
I doubt that reading your letter in the paper will change Grandma's behavior. She sounds pretty set in her ways, but it's worth a shot. For her sake, I hope she can stand back and view her situation with a bit more objectivity. The message, Grandma, is: "Don't try to train them. Just love them."



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers