, Advice by Ann Landers - []
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Section: mental-health, relationships

Dear Ann Landers,
I suspect my wife of six years is having an affair. She means a great deal to me, and I don't want a divorce. My suspicions are beginning to wreck my personal and professional life, and I don't know what to do. I recently heard of a TV show that investigates and catches cheating spouses on film. I am seriously considering contacting the producers. Do you think my wife and I would be able to reconcile if I had her investigated and caught her on this show? -- Just Asking in the Big D

Dear Big D,
If you had your wife investigated, and she were caught cheating, and it later appeared on TV, your marriage would not stand the chance of the proverbial snowball in hell. I think you need some professional help, Mister. Please get it.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

flyingarrow's Comment
I really love the stories on this website, but hate the comments. Most of them are to advertise for psychic nut jobs. Sorry, but the truth hurts...

Marie Planta's Comment
Greatest thanks to Dr Oyagu for his herbal drugs that he prepared for me and when i start using it in just 2weeks i was completely cured and that ended my HERPES SIMPLEX 1

Reader Comment
I never would have thought Ann Landers has such a large following within the Herpes community!

Reader Comment
I totally agree with flyingarrow's comment. Most of the comments are advertisements for psychic nut jobs and should be deleted as soon as they appear. Such a waste!

Amy's Comment
Crazy how so many people write the same exact things on here’s

Reader Comment
I agree with 'flyingarrow's comment on all the nut jobs using this column to vent their stupid, phony physic experiences. Just a waste of space (the people who believe these comments as well).

Reader Comment
Don't pay attention to the lunatics! Hire a private investigator.

Debra's Comment
Hire a private detective!!!

Reader Comment
Ha ha ha. I assure you arranging a "cheaters" type investigation on camera will not endear you to your spouse! It's a great way to destroy any chance at reconciliation. If she is cheating it is because something important is missing from the marriage. Go to marriage counseling. If she is cheating, you will have to forgive her completely if you want to move forward together. It may be too much...

Reader Comment
I'm bothered by the comment: "She means a great deal to me." Is that the same as saying you love her? Do you not want a divorce only because of the turmoil it could cause or do you not want a divorce because you still love her very much. I think the best thing is to just go and talk to her and tell her why you suspect she is cheating. You'll know immediately from her reaction and her response. Don't stay in a marriage if it's not fulfilling for both parties. You'll both end up being miserable. You asked whether you can salvage it. If you can't talk to her openly about what's going on, it's not likely you can save it. You didn't say whether there are children in the picture. But, if not, that should make the decision about a divorce easier.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers