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Section: relationships

Dear Ann Landers,
I am 34 years old and have three children under the age of 10. Two years ago, my husband left us and started living with his mother. He also has a girlfriend but has not made any effort to file for divorce. Here's my question: How long should I go on trying to salvage my marriage? It's hard when only one of us is working at it. Should I just get on with my life without him, or keep praying he will have a change of heart and do the right thing? At what point do I just give up? -- Hurting in Mantua, N.J.

Dear N.J.,
He's been living with his mother for two years? And he has a girlfriend? It's over, dear. Call your lawyer.

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Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Reader Comment
Dear Hurting: He's been living with his mother for 2 years

Reader Comment
He's living with the person he depends on. Get to a lawyer NOW! This worthless scum bag has turned his back on you and your children. Make sure you file for all the assistance you need from him. Those three kids are his also (even though, as usual the 'father' didn't do much to bring them into the world).Go get him. His mother is partly to blame as she is shielding him from you and the kids-the nasty old hag!

Andy's Comment
It's over, dear. Get a lawyer now.

Reader Comment
If he has been gone for two years then he is already out of your life. Now go on with your life .

Veve's Comment
Hi, I really need advice on a family issue. Is there a way for me to submit my question to someone?
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers