Section: mental-health, children, relationships
Dear Ann Landers,
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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
It sounds like the parents are Ground Zero for their kids' (and now grandkids') turmoil. At a certain point of course adults must be accountable for their own mistakes and behaviors but it seems like H.H. left a burning pile of stuff in the street and now want to go off and enjoy Mahjong in the Sun. Family means for life. And their responsibilities as patents don't end when they get their AARP cards IMHO
Please, please, please try meditation, exercise, or yoga first instead of accepting an antidepressant as a first choice. Then if all else fails, medicine has its place but use it with caution noting possible side affects. Good luck.
Great answer from Ann. We cannot bleed every time our children cut themselves. Sooner or later, we have to let go and allow them to live the consequences of their choices. We can offer love and encouragement, but need to take care that we do not enable their self-destructive behavior OR allow it to destroy us.
Have you tried everything you could to teach your children correct principles and self-respect? Then believe that they are capable of figuring these things out if they want to. They are adults. They are making the choices they want to (or think they want to). Accept their choices and be ready to help them if they decide they want to change (but not if they just want to endlessly gripe about their lives).
Helen Fisher's Comment
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sandra lopez's Comment
I was searching for help on the internet to get my ex husband back after he divorced me 5 months ago, i came across so many testimonies from different people and they are all talking about this wonderful man called Doctor silver on how he help them to save their marriage and relationships and i also contact him on his email ([email protected]) and explain my problem to him and he did a nice job by helping me to get my divorced husband back within 48 hours.. I never believe that such things like this can be possible but now i am a living testimony to it because Doctor silver actually brought my lover back, If you are having any relationship problems why not contact Doctor silver for help via email: [email protected] or whatsapp 2348123877102 Then i promise you that after 48 hours you will have reasons to celebrate like me.
I know what H.H. is going through. After years of supporting my adult son (financially and emotionally), he laced into me with a barrage of rhetoric blaming me for everything that's gone wrong in his life. Now, at the age of 56 he wants nothing to do with me and I have no idea where he is. Yes, it's time for me to move on and let him sink or swim. He is the most ungrateful nasty person I've ever known. I put up with his horrible attitude toward me because he 'was' my only child but this is his doing. There is a special place in hell for him.
My mother always said: "I washed my hands of it!" meaning she was no longer concerned with something and she was going to let the chips lie where they fall. Wash your hands, Ma'am.
I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back. I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But after my friend introduced me to Dr Kala the great messenger of Kala healing home, I narrated my problem to him on how my Husband left me and my two kids. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what he needs from me to cast the spell and I provided it for him and he told me to wait that my husband is going to call me in the next 24hrs. To my greatest surprise my husband called me on the phone and was begging for forgiveness for living me and the kids and he came back home and begged me to forgive him for the pains he put me through. I am so happy and overwhelmed that my husband is back to me and i have to tell this to the entire world to let anyone out there who is having marriage and relationship issues to contact Dr Kala on his personal email: [email protected] or WhatsApp him on 2347051705853 and get all your problem solve. No problem is too big for him to solve and i assure you that he will also help you to get your ex back after separation or divorce.
Your children are legal adults and are responsible for their own lives. You aren't. Period. Get some counseling and enjoy yours.
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