, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Section: relationships, manners, marriage, behavior

Dear Margo,
My parents will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next month. This should be a joyous occasion, but the truth is, they have had an unhappy marriage for as long as I can remember. My three sisters and I are reluctant to plan a big party for them or have any other celebration, because we feel it would be hypocritical. However, not doing anything at all would make us feel terribly guilty. Is there some compromise that would be appropriate for the occasion? -- Rosie in N.Y.

Yesterday's Response:

Dear Rosie,
Regardless of the quality of the relationship, the fact remains that your parents have been married for half a century, and that calls for some sort of celebration. It doesn't have to be a major blowout. A fancy dinner with family members and close friends would be equally appropriate. I hope you and your sisters will honor your parents on their special day. Maybe it will give them an incentive to get along better.

Today's Response:

Dear Rosie,
I could not add much to this answer, except perhaps to ask the Bickersons if they'd like a party or not?
- Margo

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Wendy's Comment
I would have suggested using the money they were going to spend on a party to buy their parents tickets to a show that they would enjoy or a weekend at a resort where they could be pampered a bit. Even though they don't have a great marriage, there must have been enough of a connection that they stayed together for 50 years. The sisters wouldn't have to feel like hypocrites at a party or dinner - just send them away! Everyone wins.
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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers