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Section: abuse, relationships

Dear Ann Landers,
You printed a letter from "Unable to Cope in Indiana," who was the mother of two and married for seven years. She wrote that her husband was a great guy and a wonderful father when he was not having one of his temper tantrums, which sometimes lasted for days. She needs a reality check. Ann, tell that woman to run for her life. She will spend a lot of good years trying to please him and figuring out how not to set him off. She will walk on eggshells, make excuses for him and try to protect her kids when he gets angry "for no reason." One day, he will become really angry, and either she or one of the kids will be seriously injured or killed. She should get out NOW while she is strong enough to do it. -- Pelican Rapids, Minn.

Dear Pelican Rapids,
Many readers expressed the same sentiments. Some said, "My husband got crazy after a few drinks." Others attributed the anger to cocaine. There is no question that drugs and alcohol influence behavior. The woman who wrote, however, said her husband had developed this problem fairly recently, and that his rages lasted for days. It sounded like a neurological problem, and I stand by my advice. The man should see a doctor. It could be a brain disorder.

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers