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Section: sexuality, children, relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 15-year-old sophomore girl. I make decent grades and am a normal teenager in every way. At the beginning of the school year, I hit it off with a girl who had just moved to our town over the summer. "Lottie" and I have the same taste in music and movies, and we like to hang out at the mall after school. We've become great friends in just a few months, and last weekend, Lottie invited me to sleep over at her house. Everything was great until it came time for bed. Lottie's bedroom has a double bed, which we were supposed to share. That would have been OK, except she stripped completely naked before she got into bed. Ann, I have no objection to sleeping in the nude, but this was in the winter, and it was plenty cold outside. I asked Lottie whether she wouldn't be warmer in pajamas. She replied that she was more comfortable sleeping nude and her electric blanket would keep her toasty warm. I reluctantly got into bed but kept wondering whether Lottie was trying to seduce me. Her electric blanket was turned on so high that I was tempted to take off my flannel nightshirt. I decided not to, thinking maybe that was what she wanted me to do. Lottie made no other moves on me, but I barely slept all night. What should I do? I don't want to accuse her of being a lesbian, but I can't stop wondering whether she is interested in me sexually. Lottie is the best friend I ever had, and I would hate to lose her over this. Please tell me what to do. -- Befuddled in Northern California

Dear Befuddled,
Trust your instincts. Lottie may be perfectly straight, but I wouldn't bet the rent. If you want to continue the friendship, OK, but do not accept any more invitations to sleep at her place, and don't let her finagle an invitation to stay at yours.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Real obviously!

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MMMMMMMM YUMMY TIME!

Jon's Comment
I was at Ann Landers' estate auction at Bonham's and Butterfield's in San Francisco back in 2002. It was fun acquiring some of her belongings and I felt as if I had gotten to know her through reading some of her papers, especially her 1960's trip to visit the Vietnam soldiers. I also had her collection of keys to the cities. They were eventually dispersed all over the country to much fanfare. I still have her original hangers which once held her collection of college graduation robes. For months after the auction, I had dreams in which we were good friends. Way back in prep-school in 1980, I was "SAM FLOUNDERS" secret spoof advice columnist in the Cushing Academy paper. Of course "Sam" was inspired by Eppie Lederer, or Ann Landers!! Fun times! Yours, Jon
 
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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
-Ann Landers