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Section: sexuality, relationships, manners
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I have never cheated on my wife and am absolutely certain that I never will. We have been married for five wonderful years, and our marriage is rock solid. Here's the problem: About a year ago, during a moment of passion, I happened to call out the name of my wife's best friend, "Annabelle." You can imagine my wife's reaction. Annabelle is single, in her early 20s and good-looking, and she has a terrific figure. She moved out of town three years ago. I made it clear to my wife that nothing ever went on between Annabelle and me and that calling her name was just part of a harmless fantasy. I tried to explain that fantasies are normal and I have no intention of acting them out. My wife accepted this explanation, and things seemed to be going well. Now comes the hard part. Annabelle visits us once a year and stays for a week. Her visit is coming up soon, and my wife has started to turn very cold. In fact, she's downright hostile. I know she is afraid I will be attracted to Annabelle and feels threatened. What can I do to reassure her and get things back on track? -- Faithful in Denver

Dear Denver,
Since you have had sexual fantasies about Annabelle, your wife has some justification for feeling a bit threatened. Start immediately to line up some attractive men for Annabelle to go out with when she is visiting you. Make sure you are never alone with your guest, and most importantly, concentrate on finding a substitute fantasy woman. (Any star of stage or screen will do.) And be especially affectionate to your wife in Annabelle's presence. She will appreciate it.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

KingofKing2020's Comment
I am a bit torn on this one and here is why. First, you are not giving us the 100% truth. Most men don't make a sound in bed and seldom call out names unless it is the name of the person they are with or they are trying to open the door to add that person. You may regret it now and said what you needed to say to keep your wife but you put yourself in a no win situation. If you are especially affectionate to your wife in Annabelle's presence, then your wife may think your newly found attraction is being caused by looking at Annabelle. If you are not affectionate with your wife when Annabelle around, every comment you make may be taken as flirting. Your best bet is to go hang out with the guys. Make sure your wife knows you are friends with Annabelle but Annabelle is her friend, there to see her, so you are giving them time together rather than you being a 3rd wheel tagging along. Don't stay away like you are avoiding Annabelle but use the time to catch up with the boys so the girls can catch up. If you have to be around Annabelle and she is single, bring 1 of your single friends around to balance the group.
 
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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers