Dear Ann Landers, I am a 20-year-old college student living with three other roommates the same age. One of our roommates, "Gloria," is causing a lot of problems for the rest of us. She is dating a married man. This isn't the first time she has been involved in an inappropriate relationship, but I didn't know about her entanglements until after we moved in together.
The man Gloria is dating now is a lot older and has kids in their late 20s. He doesn't hide his cheating. In fact, he wants us to invite him over to "hang out." Gloria bragged about their sexual relationship, and his wife found out about it. She has been calling our house to see if her husband is here. Now, Gloria demands that we not answer the phone or, if we do, that we lie to the man's wife.
We have lost all respect for Gloria and would like to kick her out, but none of us has the guts. I feel horrible for this man's family and do not want to be caught in a confrontation with his wife. Please give us some suggestions on how to handle this situation. -- Beside Ourselves in Oregon
Dear Oregon, Give Gloria notice: Either she stops seeing that married man, or she will have to move out at the end of the month. Be firm about it. Let her know that if she doesn't break off the relationship, you are packing her bags and she'll find them on the front porch -- and keep your word.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Deming NM's Comment
I agree. People asking you to lie for them, it's just despicable.
If she is on the lease, they can't kick her out. Period.
"Gloria" is causing too much friction with the others living there. Get in touch with the landlord to issue a revised lease (if Gloria is on it) to remove her name as she is moving out (if she refuses to end that worthless relationship). The other tenants should not have to put up with lying for this nasty person. A married man who is getting what he wants will never leave his wife
The next time the wife calls hand the phone to the man and say, it’s for you. Don’t cover or accommodate her not one more time. If you don’t accommodate roommate, she’ll leave on her own.
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Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.