Dear Ann Landers, Here are my spouse's excuses for avoiding sex:
I'm too nervous.
I'm too full.
I have a headache.
I have a stomachache.
The kids might hear.
I have to go to work.
My mind is on other things.
It's too early in the morning.
It's too late at night.
I'll bet you think this letter is from a husband complaining about his wife.
You're wrong. It's from a wife complaining about her husband. He is 50 years old,
and I am 40. We are both too young to be giving up sex. If you have any
suggestions on how to improve this not-so-hot relationship, I'd like to hear them. -
- Failing in Fresno, Calif.
Dear Fresno, The best way to improve a "not-so-hot" relationship is to
heat it up. Be subtle but persistent. It sounds as if your husband is unsure of his
ability to perform sexually. He needs reassurance, praise and the knowledge that
you really do care about him. Start talking.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
If your husband doesn’t want to have sex, he doesn’t have to have sex. He doesn’t owe it to you. Sit down and talk to him if you think there’s something going on, but you absolutely must respect his right to not have sex if he doesn’t want to.
Do not be subtle but persistent. Find a new guy who has a similar sex drive as yours.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.