Dear Ann Landers, I am a 34-year-old single physician who has never been married or even come close. The truth is, I never found anyone I truly wanted to be with -- until last year. Sound good? Well, wait. The woman I have fallen in love with is a very youthful 53-year-old -- and she is married.
I do not want to jeopardize her marriage by having an affair, but I do want a friendship with her. We talk on the phone two or three times a week, but she must call me from work to avoid arousing suspicion at home. I cannot call her house and ask her to have lunch with me or go to a movie.
Is there any proper, non-threatening way I could have a close relationship with this woman without upsetting her family? Am I better off just leaving her alone? I'm afraid I will never meet anyone else whose company I enjoy so much. Please give me some guidance. -- A Smitten M.D. in N.C.
Dear N.C. Doc, Stop playing with dynamite before you blow up the woman's marriage and your medical practice, as well. Surely there is a single woman in North Carolina who would be an appropriate companion with romantic possibilities. Let your friends know you are interested, and put yourself out there. If you need an incentive, think about how your life would be enriched with a couple of children. That should do it.
Gem of the Day (Credit Mark Twain): We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again -- and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.