Dear Ann Landers, I just read the letter from "Nearly Smothered in the U.S.A.," who complained that her in-laws visit every two months, call twice a week, constantly mail cards and gifts, and take up precious "family time." I have a very similar situation, but I feel quite differently about it.
Although my husband's parents live more than 1,000 miles away, they consider the family a priority and sacrifice their weekends and hard-earned money to visit us every six weeks. My mother-in-law went back to work part time to finance these trips. We phone each other every two days because our 3-year-old daughter and younger son have developed such a close relationship with their grandparents that they insist on hearing their voices often. My in-laws also mail cards and gifts frequently, and our children love to receive them.
The whole family looks forward to the grandparents' visits because our children get undivided, one-on-one, loving attention from them, and my husband and I are free to spend some much-needed time alone or with our friends.
It's too bad "Smothered" is so ungrateful for her in-laws' attention. Her attitude is selfish, and she is denying her children a wonderful relationship with their grandparents. -- Loved and Fortunate in Dallas
Dear Dallas, Your response was a case study in what good family relationships are all about. You are doing a splendid job, and I congratulate you.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.