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Section: money, relationships, behavior, marriage

Dear Ann Landers,
Are you sick and tired of hearing from disgruntled bridesmaids? I hope you will print one more letter. I have a message for bridesmaids who complain about the expense of buying pink dresses with shoes to match. I was married a year ago and went out of my way to accommodate my bridesmaids. Those who accepted were told they could choose the style of dress they wanted from the six or seven I liked. Only one showed up at my house to make a selection. I found a seamstress who would make the dresses at a reasonable price ($60 each), and I bought the material. Then, I found a wholesale shoe store that sold me the matching shoes (already dyed) for $13 a pair. Each bridesmaid had a total bill of $73. If they hate their dresses, too bad. And what they do with them after the wedding is no concern of mine. If a friend doesn't want to make the small sacrifice, she should say, "Sorry, no," when asked to be in the wedding party. If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up. -- No Name in Fla.

Dear No Name,
You sound like a practical (and tough) lady, but I can't argue with a thing you've said. Your last line is worth repeating, so I'll do just that: If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Marina 's Comment
Bridesmaids know what they're in for when they accept the honor. Otherwise, just be a guest at the wedding and enjoy the celebration. Most brides try to keep the expenses down for their bridesmaids.

Reader Comment
Hi ann. I don't know what to do about this situation I have. My son and my grandson don't get along so last year my grandson moved in with me and his grandfather. I have asked my grandson to go visit his father and he doesn't want nothing to do with him now it's Christmas time my son doesn't feel that he has to buy his son a Christmas gift I told him it's up to him but I feel he's still your son you should at least buy him a gift what do you think.

Texi's Comment
Stay out of it! It's between your son and his son.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers