- Dear Ann Landers: Are you sick and tired of hearing from disgruntled bridesmaids?
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Section: money, relationships, behavior, marriage

Dear Ann Landers,
Are you sick and tired of hearing from disgruntled bridesmaids? I hope you will print one more letter. I have a message for bridesmaids who complain about the expense of buying pink dresses with shoes to match. I was married a year ago and went out of my way to accommodate my bridesmaids. Those who accepted were told they could choose the style of dress they wanted from the six or seven I liked. Only one showed up at my house to make a selection. I found a seamstress who would make the dresses at a reasonable price ($60 each), and I bought the material. Then, I found a wholesale shoe store that sold me the matching shoes (already dyed) for $13 a pair. Each bridesmaid had a total bill of $73. If they hate their dresses, too bad. And what they do with them after the wedding is no concern of mine. If a friend doesn't want to make the small sacrifice, she should say, "Sorry, no," when asked to be in the wedding party. If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up. -- No Name in Fla.

Dear No Name,
You sound like a practical (and tough) lady, but I can't argue with a thing you've said. Your last line is worth repeating, so I'll do just that: If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Marina 's Comment
Bridesmaids know what they're in for when they accept the honor. Otherwise, just be a guest at the wedding and enjoy the celebration. Most brides try to keep the expenses down for their bridesmaids.
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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers