Dear Ann Landers, This is about your response to "Tom in Ft. Atkinson, Wis.," whose friend still had his late wife's voice on the answering machine. You advised him to tell his friend to stop avoiding reality and remove the message.
My father died almost two years ago. My sister and I have asked my mother not to erase my father's voice message on her machine. It brings us comfort, smiles and sometimes a tear -- every time we hear his voice. I don't need a grief counselor, Ann. We are all dealing with Dad's death in a normal and healthy way. We just like to hear his voice now and then.
My mother is about to remarry, and her new husband has asked her to change the answering machine message, which is perfectly understandable. Instead of having Mom erase my father's voice, I bought her a new tape and took the old one home so my sister and I can listen to it whenever we want.
I am sorry "Tom" finds it depressing to hear a dead person's voice, but there are some of us who cannot hear it often enough. -- No Name in Minnesota
Dear Minnesota, I was surprised that a great many readers shared your view. I assumed most readers would feel as I did. I was mistaken.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Tracy Mattingly from united state's Comment
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.