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So now I'm a prostitute-according to you.

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From Ann's Archives: 1955 to 2002
Dear Ann Landers,
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, "When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution." What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I've been married to this character for eighteen years, and it's the only approach that works. My husband's income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn't believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, "What for? You're home all day." The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he's in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?--The Professional Amateur
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Comments

  Mary's Comment
Oh, Dearest! If sex is your only weapon, you are a very under-developed female. There are many other feminine charms as important, and longer -lasting too. Become a good conversationalist. Listen to his every word when he talks about work, or his day. Read, to enlarge your own intelligence and you will be able to increase his knowledge base. You will both become more interesting people. Be unpredictable....in good ways. Make a cherry pie or some new curtains. A man likes to come home to a clean, cozy home. Agree on a budget, and demand a joint checking account. Get a job, it will give you a say in how the family money is spent. You are only treated as well as you expect and believe that you deserve. The guy will either shape up to keep his exciting wife, or he really is a bum, and you will dump him. Your choice!!

  Save Yourself's Comment
Get a job and start making your own money.

  Reader Comment
I doubt very much if any additional measures will change that creep of a husband. What is wrong with this woman that she can't make a living on her own and divorce the creep? She is wasting her life with him. Dump the garbage with the rest of it on garbage pick up day. Men are dirt!

  Reader Comment
I totally agree with the reader comment to dump the garbage (husband). Sex was the only thing my husband wanted and it began to disgust me because that was his primary and only interest in me. Yes, men are dirt and should be shoveled and used for planting.

  Reader Comment
Love save oneself comment Get a Job

  Debra's Comment
Oh WOW!!! Bake a cherry pie, make some new curtains - HOW degrading!!!!!! D-I-V-O-R-C-E!!!!!!!!!!!

  Reader Comment
Good Lord. 40K is not an income that can support a household AND provide a decent allowance. How about you get off your keister and get a paying job to help out?

  Reader Comment
The big question is: Why does she remain with him? I agree with Ann--this is prostitution.
 
What do you think?
 



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So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
READ MORE →
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois
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I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois
My husband and I retired to Florida a few years ago, leaving our three grown children back in our hometown up north. We are having a wonderful life, and my husband is as happy as a lark. I also should be happy. Everything here is great. The weather is beautiful. We are enjoying good health and have met some lovely people. We both do some volunteer work, so please do not assume we are selfishly wasting our lives. The problem is our children. They aren't kids anymore, but each of them is in trouble. One daughter is married and "no longer in love." She has a boyfriend. Another daughter is living with a younger man I know she'll have to support for the rest of her life because he doesn't believe in work. She also has his two teenagers living with them. Another daughter is going through a miserable divorce. She has a son who surely will end up in jail again if he isn't there already. I should be having the time of my life, but there is such a sadness around me that I fight it daily. I don't know what to do, Ann. All these troubled adult children are getting the best of me. I try to hide my anxiety from my husband because I don't want him to be as miserable as I am. What should I do, Ann? Please throw me a lifeline. -- Heavy-Hearted in the Palms
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So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
READ MORE →
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois
READ MORE →
I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois
My husband and I retired to Florida a few years ago, leaving our three grown children back in our hometown up north. We are having a wonderful life, and my husband is as happy as a lark. I also should be happy. Everything here is great. The weather is beautiful. We are enjoying good health and have met some lovely people. We both do some volunteer work, so please do not assume we are selfishly wasting our lives. The problem is our children. They aren't kids anymore, but each of them is in trouble. One daughter is married and "no longer in love." She has a boyfriend. Another daughter is living with a younger man I know she'll have to support for the rest of her life because he doesn't believe in work. She also has his two teenagers living with them. Another daughter is going through a miserable divorce. She has a son who surely will end up in jail again if he isn't there already. I should be having the time of my life, but there is such a sadness around me that I fight it daily. I don't know what to do, Ann. All these troubled adult children are getting the best of me. I try to hide my anxiety from my husband because I don't want him to be as miserable as I am. What should I do, Ann? Please throw me a lifeline. -- Heavy-Hearted in the Palms
READ MORE →
My husband and I retired to Florida a few years ago, leaving our three grown children back in our hometown up north. We are having a wonderful life, and my husband is as happy as a lark. I also should be happy. Everything here is great. The weather is beautiful. We are enjoying good health and have met some lovely people. We both do some volunteer work, so please do not assume we are selfishly wasting our lives. The problem is our children. They aren't kids anymore, but each of them is in trouble. One daughter is married and "no longer in love." She has a boyfriend. Another daughter is living with a younger man I know she'll have to support for the rest of her life because he doesn't believe in work. She also has his two teenagers living with them. Another daughter is going through a miserable divorce. She has a son who surely will end up in jail again if he isn't there already. I should be having the time of my life, but there is such a sadness around me that I fight it daily. I don't know what to do, Ann. All these troubled adult children are getting the best of me. I try to hide my anxiety from my husband because I don't want him to be as miserable as I am. What should I do, Ann? Please throw me a lifeline. -- Heavy-Hearted in the Palms

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"Ask Ann Landers" was the country's #1 advice column for 47 years. Under her pen name Ann Landers, Eppie Lederer became an American media celebrity, only rivaled in popularity by her identical twin sister Pauline Phillips, better known as Dear Abby. Her advice was printed in English-language papers all over the world. She was the best read and most widely syndicated human relations adviser during her time as Ann Landers.

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