Dear Ann Landers,
I am a busy physician in a small town. My wife and I have a wonderful marriage, and my practice is thriving. The problem? My parents. I work 12 hours a day and usually bring work home at night. I barely see my kids, and those few moments I can spend with them are precious to me. My telephone number is unlisted because I do not want to be disturbed when my workday is finished. Patients who are trying to reach me at night often call my parents, who then track me down and insist I call the patients back right away. I have asked my folks repeatedly to direct these patients to my office or to the doctor on call for the evening, but they refuse. They say, "We don't want to offend anyone." Well, when they do this to me, I am offended greatly. I love my parents and am willing to give my patients 100 percent when I'm up at-bat, but I need some time for myself and my kids. I feel as if I am suffocating. Please tell me how to deal with this. -- Going Under in Kentucky

Dear Kentucky,
It may be difficult to retrain your parents, but it's not impossible. Inform them that you will not return any calls to patients after hours, no matter who gives you the message. Then, keep your word. If your parents don't want to offend anyone, they should say, "I'm sorry, but our son is not on duty now. Please call his office in the morning and make an appointment. If it's an emergency, go to the hospital immediately."

Dear Ann Landers,
I am in my late 70s, and my wife is a few years younger than I am. She is neat about herself, keeps the house clean, keeps my shirts washed and ironed, and is a great cook. So what's the problem? Why at my age am I writing to Ann Landers? Here is my dilemma: Whenever I try to tell a story, my wife interrupts me and proceeds to give her version, leaving me dangling in mid-sentence. When I try to continue, I do so at the risk of starting an argument, which embarrasses everybody. This happens whether we are dining with friends or at home, just the two of us. Our children rarely visit anymore and have told me privately it is because they cannot bear to hear their mother belittle me. I'm sure it doesn't help that she also tells them what they should eat and how much. We have been married for longer than 50 years. My wife normally has a few martinis before dinner and then wine with her meal. I have no illusions about her changing her ways, but I hope you might have a suggestion or two to help me cope with the situation. No name or city, please, just - Diminished in California

Dear California,
You have been married to this woman for more than 50 years, so by now, you should know she is strong-willed and domineering, and as you said, she is not going to change. You can, however, refuse to let her horn in when you are talking. Simply say, "Please let me tell it my way, and if you want to give your version later, fine," and keep on talking. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT relinquish the floor. Keep on talking. (P.S. The martinis and wine don't help the situation. How about shortening the "cocktail" time? I suspect part of her excessive gabbiness is because of the fact that she is half shnockered.)

Dear Ann Landers,
Are you sick and tired of hearing from disgruntled bridesmaids? I hope you will print one more letter. I have a message for bridesmaids who complain about the expense of buying pink dresses with shoes to match. I was married a year ago and went out of my way to accommodate my bridesmaids. Those who accepted were told they could choose the style of dress they wanted from the six or seven I liked. Only one showed up at my house to make a selection. I found a seamstress who would make the dresses at a reasonable price ($60 each), and I bought the material. Then, I found a wholesale shoe store that sold me the matching shoes (already dyed) for $13 a pair. Each bridesmaid had a total bill of $73. If they hate their dresses, too bad. And what they do with them after the wedding is no concern of mine. If a friend doesn't want to make the small sacrifice, she should say, "Sorry, no," when asked to be in the wedding party. If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up. -- No Name in Fla.

Dear No Name,
You sound like a practical (and tough) lady, but I can't argue with a thing you've said. Your last line is worth repeating, so I'll do just that: If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up.

Dear Ann Landers,
Two weeks ago, when I came home from the supermarket, I found a note from my husband saying there was too much pressure in his life and he needed to get away. I immediately checked our bedroom and found that all his clothes were gone. A few days later, I learned he already had another apartment and a new phone number, which proved he had been planning his escape for quite some time. I had an awful feeling of betrayal when I realized that the person I had been sleeping next to for so many years would plan to sneak off and leave me without saying a word. The note he left said he would contact me in a few days. It has been nearly a week, and I haven't heard from him. My friends tell me I should phone him and find out exactly what he has in mind, but I don't want to do that. After all, he is the one who left, and I think he should make the first move. Please give me some advice. -- Confused in the Midwest

Dear Midwest,
Don't rush. Let the dust settle. Wait another week. If you don't hear anything by then, call and tell him you need to know what his plans are so you can make yours. You gave me no clue as to your age, how long you have been married or what your financial status is. If I knew more about your situation, I could be more helpful. Good luck.

Dear Ann Landers,
My ex-husband and I divorced 18 years ago. He told me he no longer loved me and that family life was not for him. He agreed to counseling, but of course, it was a waste of time. The counselor later told me it was obvious that I wanted counseling to save the marriage, but my ex agreed to it only to appease me and intended on getting a divorce once the charade was over. We had been married 14 years and had two children, ages 7 and 5. It was not easy for me. My ex remarried six months after the divorce was final. I married again 10 years later. My 23-year-old daughter recently asked her father why we were divorced. He replied, "Because your mother was having an affair." I am furious with him for telling such a lie. Fortunately, my daughter did not believe him, but it's possible he has repeated that same lie to everyone he knows. I get angry every time I think about it, but don't know if I should confront him. Please, Ann, tell me what to do. -- Innocent in Stamford, Conn.

Dear Stamford,
Don't waste your time and energy on a confrontation. It has been said that a lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can put on its shoes. You now know that your ex is a cad and a liar. What more is there to learn? A confrontation would probably result in a denial, plus more "he said, she said. " Who needs it? Congratulate yourself for unloading the bum, and enjoy your freedom.