Dear Ann Landers,
I am a busy physician in a small town. My wife and I have a wonderful marriage, and my practice is thriving. The problem? My parents. I work 12 hours a day and usually bring work home at night. I barely see my kids, and those few moments I can spend with them are precious to me. My telephone number is unlisted because I do not want to be disturbed when my workday is finished. Patients who are trying to reach me at night often call my parents, who then track me down and insist I call the patients back right away. I have asked my folks repeatedly to direct these patients to my office or to the doctor on call for the evening, but they refuse. They say, "We don't want to offend anyone." Well, when they do this to me, I am offended greatly. I love my parents and am willing to give my patients 100 percent when I'm up at-bat, but I need some time for myself and my kids. I feel as if I am suffocating. Please tell me how to deal with this. -- Going Under in Kentucky

Dear Kentucky,
It may be difficult to retrain your parents, but it's not impossible. Inform them that you will not return any calls to patients after hours, no matter who gives you the message. Then, keep your word. If your parents don't want to offend anyone, they should say, "I'm sorry, but our son is not on duty now. Please call his office in the morning and make an appointment. If it's an emergency, go to the hospital immediately."

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a male escort while I am working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am paid well. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied. Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me. Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.

Dear Mr. X,
No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.

Dear Ann Landers,
Having read your column for the past 40 years, I feel as if I know you as a friend. I am sending an item that appeared in the California Retired Teachers Association newsletter. The author is unknown. I hope you will think it's funny enough to share. -- David H., La Crescenta, Calif.

Dear David,
I do, and I shall. Thank you. Here it is: "Why Worry?" There are only two things to worry about -- Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about -- Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you go to heaven or to hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. If you go to hell, you'll be so darn busy shaking hands with old friends, You won't have time to worry.

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a postal clerk, and every day, I see many cards, letters and packages sent to our mail recovery center (formerly known as the dead letter branch) because people do not put return addresses on the items they mail. I find it disturbing when mail that is undeliverable cannot be returned to the senders to let them know it didn't reach its destination. Think of the thank you notes, love letters, invitations and condolence cards that never got delivered because of illegible addresses. And imagine the hard feelings, disappointment, misunderstandings and broken relationships that resulted because senders didn't take the time to write their return addresses. When there is no acknowledgment of having received the gift, the sender assumes the recipient has poor manners. This problem could be remedied so easily. Return address labels are inexpensive, and it takes only a minute to affix them. Please, Ann, do your readers and the Postal Service a favor by printing this letter. It really IS important. -- Concerned Postal Clerk in N. Dakota

Dear N. Dakota,
I know a little something about mail and can sympathize with you. I hope your letter produces the desired results. Please, dear readers, pay attention to what this postal clerk is saying. It takes just a minute to print your return address in the upper left corner of the envelope or package or slap on the sticker. DO IT!

Dear Ann Landers,
You have printed several letters from nurses who said their job is difficult, back-breaking and unrewarding. While I agree this is not the easiest work in the world, I feel privileged to be a nurse because I can make a difference in the lives of people when they need it most. I am honored to be a member of this noble profession and am sure there are thousands of others like me. -- Becky in Charleston, S.C.

Dear Becky,
Thank you for your touching letter. I recently received this poem from the Faxton Hospital Foundation in Utica, N.Y., which the nurses in my reading audience will find inspiring: What Is a Nurse? by Ann E. Coupe A nurse is a very special person, who Never fails to place the needs of patients first, whose Unique gentleness and depth of love are selflessly given: a Radiant and humane person, dedicated to caring for the sick: that Special bridge between physician and patient so vital to recovery. Ever loving, ever giving, a nurse is the orchid of God's flowers. And now, dear readers, what follows is the last corsage I am pinning on the nurse's shoulder for several months to come. Here it is: