Dear Ann Landers, I was invited to the wedding of a close friend last fall. Instead of giving my friend and her husband money, I commissioned a local artist to make a gift for the couple. The artist told me it would take about a month for the work to be completed. I wrote my friend a note apologizing for the delay and explained that I was having something special made for them.
It has been three months, and the work is still not finished. I spoke to the artist, but he won't give me any answers. Should I give the couple a check, apologize again and tell the artist to forget it? Please tell me what to do. -- West Orange, N.J.
Dear W.O., Write a letter to the artist giving him a two-week deadline to complete the picture or the deal is off. Send a copy of the letter to the newlyweds. If "Rembrandt" doesn't make the deadline, ask him to return your deposit. Then, buy the couple a gift.
Dear Ann Landers, When we retire, my husband and I plan to build a new house in the country. To date, I have bought 14 house-plan books and have concluded that most architects must be men. No woman would put the bedrooms and bathrooms at one end of the house and the laundry room at the other end, attached to the garage.
If I may speak to all the architects out there, I suggest you consider these things when you draw up your next house plan:
1. The laundry room should be next to the bathrooms and near the bedrooms so we don't have to carry 40-pound loads 100 yards to and from the laundry. Don't put it next to the garage unless the bedrooms and baths are on the second floor and there is a laundry chute.
2. A kitchen is not a highway. Nobody should have to go through the kitchen to get anywhere except the pantry or the dining room. It is very inconvenient, and also unsafe, to have to dodge foot traffic while you cook.
3. We need in-the-house storage space for paper goods, books, vacuum cleaners, brooms, fans, serving platters, folding chairs and card tables, seasonal decorations, large roasting pans, exercise equipment, winter blankets, extra pillows and so on.
4. We need more one-story house plans. Many older people who can afford large, even luxurious, homes do not want to climb stairs.
I know I can hire an architect to draw my house plans to specification, but maybe this will help other women down the line. -- Future Builder in Louisiana
Dear Louisiana, I hope all the architects and folks out there who are considering building (or buying) a home someday will clip this column. You have made some splendid suggestions that are worth heeding.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a male escort working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am well paid. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied.
Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me.
Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.
Dear Mr. X, No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a postal clerk, and every day, I see many cards, letters and packages sent to our mail recovery center (formerly known as the dead letter branch) because people do not put return addresses on the items they mail.
I find it disturbing when mail that is undeliverable cannot be returned to the senders to let them know it didn't reach its destination. Think of the thank you notes, love letters, invitations and condolence cards that never got delivered because of illegible addresses. And imagine the hard feelings, disappointment, misunderstandings and broken relationships that resulted because senders didn't take the time to write their return addresses. When there is no acknowledgment of having received the gift, the sender assumes the recipient has poor manners.
This problem could be remedied so easily. Return address labels are inexpensive, and it takes only a minute to affix them. Please, Ann, do your readers and the Postal Service a favor by printing this letter. It really IS important. -- Concerned Postal Clerk in N. Dakota
Dear N. Dakota, I know a little something about mail and can sympathize with you. I hope your letter produces the desired results. Please, dear readers, pay attention to what this postal clerk is saying. It takes just a minute to print your return address in the upper left corner of the envelope or package or slap on the sticker. DO IT!
Dear Ann Landers, You recently printed a job description for nurses dating from the 19th century. The writer gave the erroneous impression that nursing is a lot easier today than it was then. He is wrong.
After 20 years as a nurse, I've seen tremendous changes in both duties and ethics. Today, nurses must be educated and continue to keep up-to-date on technical advances and procedures. There are discoveries almost daily that affect how illness, wounds and trauma are treated. Nurses must learn how to operate newly invented devices that improve the care of patients.
Today, a nurse must be a facilitator, educator, caregiver, confessor and manager. She must also have intelligence, compassion and intuition. Years ago, the nurse fulfilled the role of what would be a nurse's assistant today. Now, nurses handle more duties so the physician can concentrate on the more complicated situations. We are no longer menial servants, as that century-old job description would indicate, but highly educated, highly skilled medical professionals working to bring the best care to each person who seeks our help.
I do not claim that nurses are one rung down from sainthood, but we're close. -- New Jersey R.N.
