Dear Ann Landers, A while back, you printed a letter about the dangers of prostitution. I would appreciate the opportunity to tell my side of the story. I hope you will print my letter, because your assessment was not accurate.
I am a 31-year-old woman with a bachelor's degree from a well-known university. I have been a sex worker for the past 14 years and am happy with my career. It burns me up when I read studies that say we are messed-up drug addicts who were abused as children, or that we are at risk of getting beaten up or raped by our customers.
I do not deny that streetwalking is a difficult and stressful way to make a living, but not all prostitutes are streetwalkers. I work in a brothel in Nevada and would not trade my job for any other that I know of. I perform a valuable service that is legal in most counties in this state. Every woman who works out of our house gets checked by a doctor every week.
I have met some fascinating, successful, well-educated men through my profession. Many have been clients of mine for several years. I count among them doctors, lawyers, judges, college professors, politicians and business executives. I make enough money working only two weeks each month and can use the other two weeks to pursue my writing career and work toward a Ph.D.
Ann, there's a reason prostitution is called "the world's oldest profession," and it isn't going away. Instead of fighting it, we should decriminalize it everywhere. For a woman who needs to feed her children, the threat of abuse is insignificant compared with watching her babies starve before her eyes. Legal sex work makes it possible for all women to have safer, stress-free working conditions. You should endorse it. -- Magdalene at Madam Kitty's
Dear Magdalene, I caught the significance of your name choice -- from the Bible yet. It is obvious that you enjoy your work, and as I have said before, there always will be a market for what you are selling.
For many years, I have been in favor of legalizing your profession and have said so. But please do not try to persuade anyone that babies would starve if their mothers did not go into prostitution. There are many other options -- government assistance is the best known. I won't go down the list of others, but no woman in America needs to sell her body to make a living -- unless, of course, she wants to.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a male escort working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am well paid. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied.
Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me.
Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.
Dear Mr. X, No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a postal clerk, and every day, I see many cards, letters and packages sent to our mail recovery center (formerly known as the dead letter branch) because people do not put return addresses on the items they mail.
I find it disturbing when mail that is undeliverable cannot be returned to the senders to let them know it didn't reach its destination. Think of the thank you notes, love letters, invitations and condolence cards that never got delivered because of illegible addresses. And imagine the hard feelings, disappointment, misunderstandings and broken relationships that resulted because senders didn't take the time to write their return addresses. When there is no acknowledgment of having received the gift, the sender assumes the recipient has poor manners.
This problem could be remedied so easily. Return address labels are inexpensive, and it takes only a minute to affix them. Please, Ann, do your readers and the Postal Service a favor by printing this letter. It really IS important. -- Concerned Postal Clerk in N. Dakota
Dear N. Dakota, I know a little something about mail and can sympathize with you. I hope your letter produces the desired results. Please, dear readers, pay attention to what this postal clerk is saying. It takes just a minute to print your return address in the upper left corner of the envelope or package or slap on the sticker. DO IT!
Dear Ann Landers, You recently printed a job description for nurses dating from the 19th century. The writer gave the erroneous impression that nursing is a lot easier today than it was then. He is wrong.
After 20 years as a nurse, I've seen tremendous changes in both duties and ethics. Today, nurses must be educated and continue to keep up-to-date on technical advances and procedures. There are discoveries almost daily that affect how illness, wounds and trauma are treated. Nurses must learn how to operate newly invented devices that improve the care of patients.
Today, a nurse must be a facilitator, educator, caregiver, confessor and manager. She must also have intelligence, compassion and intuition. Years ago, the nurse fulfilled the role of what would be a nurse's assistant today. Now, nurses handle more duties so the physician can concentrate on the more complicated situations. We are no longer menial servants, as that century-old job description would indicate, but highly educated, highly skilled medical professionals working to bring the best care to each person who seeks our help.
I do not claim that nurses are one rung down from sainthood, but we're close. -- New Jersey R.N.
Dear Ann Landers, I agree with your correspondent who was upset that a male technician was going to do her breast exam without a female attendant being present. I was also shocked that the hospital was bold enough to state in a letter that male technicians routinely did unchaperoned breast exams. I am reasonably certain the hospital will change this practice after receiving its first lawsuit for sexual harassment or improper touching.
I am a busy male gynecologist and would never do a breast exam on any patient, regardless of age, without a female attendant present to protect her dignity and my integrity. Thank you, Ann, for your understanding. -- Brian L. Finkel, D.O., FACOG, Phoenix
Dear Dr. Finkel, I cannot imagine a male technician who handles women's breasts all day getting his jollies from the process. If there is such a person, he should find other work before someone throws a net over him. You were good to write, Dr. Finkel, and I thank you.
