Dear Ann Landers, I could not resist the opportunity to tell "Freaking Out in California" how right she is. Cellphone users have become downright rude.
My husband, along with others throughout the country, happens to own a scanner that can pick up cellphone conversations. It truly amazes me that these yakkers are so free with their talk. It's like the old days when we had party lines and all the neighbors could listen in on your telephone calls. Anyone with a scanner can pick up these conversations. Much of what I hear is unfit for human ears. Warn your readers to please watch their language, Ann. -- Iowa Reader
Dear Iowa, You told 'em, and I hope they listen. I have had many letters from readers who pointed this out, and I hope you cellphoniacs who read this will be aware that your conversations are NOT private. You should speak as if your minister were listening, because he just might be.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a new bride. My husband's family treats "Eddie," my husband, very unfairly. They are also cold to my 2-year-old son and me. I know they are not cold people because they are very affectionate toward Eddie's sisters and brothers and their children.
Eddie has had employment difficulties since we married and relocated. In the 18 months we have been together, my family has helped us out financially. They are not rich, just comfortable. Eddie's family is also comfortable, but they refuse to help us and say they can't afford it. Not true. They live a lavish lifestyle and have a substantial income.
I believe Eddie should learn how to demand equal treatment. He needs to ask for his share. He plans to adopt my son as soon as the boy is a little older. In the meantime, my son is being treated like a second-class citizen in comparison to the other grandchildren. If they buy a new outfit for their other 2-year-old grandson, they should buy one for our son also. Right?
A psychologist told us this situation can change if we are willing to work at it. I believe we should start writing letters to my in-laws telling them exactly how we feel. Eddie says it doesn't matter to him, but I know it hurts him plenty. What should we do about this? -- Feeling Left Out in Florida
Dear Florida, Your letter has a whining quality that really turned me off. I suspect that same attitude turned off Eddie's parents, too. He is in no position to demand "equal treatment" or anything else.
A gift is whatever people want to give. You seem to think that if your in-laws buy something for their other grandson, they should buy one for your child, too. Again, I say a gift is not something you can demand. The good news is that you are in counseling. Terrific. I hope you will take this column to your next session and discuss your attitude problem. You need help.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a 27-year-old woman currently living in a large house with three roommates -- two male, one female. One of the guys, "Eddie," owns the house.
I think Eddie is obsessive-compulsive. He pastes our names on the silverware so we will know which fork to use. He has assigned us parking spots, even though we have no parking lot and use a public street. He posts a calendar for us to mark off which days we are using the laundry facilities. I once put a mark on the wrong day, and instead of erasing it, he got a new calendar.
I could live with his quirks except for one thing. He often tells me personal, intimate things about his life, including how much he longs for someone special to be with. I get the distinct impression he wants that someone to be me.
Eddie doesn't frighten me, but I'm uncomfortable around him.
I don't want to move out, Ann. The rent is cheap, I have my own room, and the other roommates are great. I cannot afford anything better. The only solution I've found is to work late and spend as much time in my room as possible. Do you have any other suggestions? -- Whacked Out in the West
Dear Whacked, It sounds as if Eddie has some strudel in his noodle. He's a control freak and not about to change. Start looking around for other living quarters pronto, and see if you can find a pal or two to join you.
Dear Ann Landers, I thought you might enjoy these tidbits of cowboy wisdom that I picked up from the Internet. -- Dave from Cumberland, Md.
Dear Dave, Those "tidbits" are solid hunks of wisdom for the population at large, not only cowboys. I'm pleased to pass them on. Here they are:
1. Don't squat with your spurs on.
2. Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none.
3. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
4. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets the harder it is to swallow.
5. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
6. A woman marries a man thinking she can change him, but she can't. A man marries a woman thinking she will never change, but she does.
7. Never ask a barber whether you need a haircut.
8. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Dear Ann Landers, A woman in our office ("Miss Z") has a TV on her desk that she turns on the minute she comes in. It stays on until she goes home.
The other employees and I feel this reflects poorly on our entire office, especially when someone from the outside comes in. Miss Z is very intimidating, and no one in our office dares approach her about this, plus she has the most seniority. Our boss has made it clear that he doesn't want to be bothered with such petty issues. What is your opinion on this matter? -- No Name, No State
Dear N.N.N.S., Sounds like the boss is also intimidated. Too bad. The old battle-ax wins again.
