Dear Ann Landers, I am a postal clerk, and every day, I see many cards, letters and packages sent to our mail recovery center (formerly known as the dead letter branch) because people do not put return addresses on the items they mail.
I find it disturbing when mail that is undeliverable cannot be returned to the senders to let them know it didn't reach its destination. Think of the thank you notes, love letters, invitations and condolence cards that never got delivered because of illegible addresses. And imagine the hard feelings, disappointment, misunderstandings and broken relationships that resulted because senders didn't take the time to write their return addresses. When there is no acknowledgment of having received the gift, the sender assumes the recipient has poor manners.
This problem could be remedied so easily. Return address labels are inexpensive, and it takes only a minute to affix them. Please, Ann, do your readers and the Postal Service a favor by printing this letter. It really IS important. -- Concerned Postal Clerk in N. Dakota
Dear N. Dakota, I know a little something about mail and can sympathize with you. I hope your letter produces the desired results. Please, dear readers, pay attention to what this postal clerk is saying. It takes just a minute to print your return address in the upper left corner of the envelope or package or slap on the sticker. DO IT!
Dear Ann Landers, I am a new bride. My husband's family treats "Eddie," my husband, very unfairly. They are also cold to my 2-year-old son and me. I know they are not cold people because they are very affectionate toward Eddie's sisters and brothers and their children.
Eddie has had employment difficulties since we married and relocated. In the 18 months we have been together, my family has helped us out financially. They are not rich, just comfortable. Eddie's family is also comfortable, but they refuse to help us and say they can't afford it. Not true. They live a lavish lifestyle and have a substantial income.
I believe Eddie should learn how to demand equal treatment. He needs to ask for his share. He plans to adopt my son as soon as the boy is a little older. In the meantime, my son is being treated like a second-class citizen in comparison to the other grandchildren. If they buy a new outfit for their other 2-year-old grandson, they should buy one for our son also. Right?
A psychologist told us this situation can change if we are willing to work at it. I believe we should start writing letters to my in-laws telling them exactly how we feel. Eddie says it doesn't matter to him, but I know it hurts him plenty. What should we do about this? -- Feeling Left Out in Florida
Dear Florida, Your letter has a whining quality that really turned me off. I suspect that same attitude turned off Eddie's parents, too. He is in no position to demand "equal treatment" or anything else.
A gift is whatever people want to give. You seem to think that if your in-laws buy something for their other grandson, they should buy one for your child, too. Again, I say a gift is not something you can demand. The good news is that you are in counseling. Terrific. I hope you will take this column to your next session and discuss your attitude problem. You need help.
Dear Ann Landers, I just read the letter from "Pat in Avon, Ind.," about the caged dog next door. My neighbor's dog is tied on a short leash, day and night, to a shack in the corner of their backyard. He barks incessantly, and it really gets to me. That poor creature is ignored, except when the owners hit him for no reason. Like Pat in Avon, I approached my neighbors about this cruel and inhumane treatment and was told to shut up and mind my own business.
You advised Pat to call the humane society. Well, Ann, I called the ASPCA and was told that as long as the dog is provided with food, water and shelter and receives medical attention when needed, they can do nothing.
Something must be done to change the law so these defenseless animals can be helped. What do you suggest? -- Dog Lover in New York
Dear Dog Lover, The only way a law can be changed is to let your state senators and congressmen know you want them to do something about a law that is clearly unjust. Urge your friends and neighbors to join you in this crusade. I wish you luck.
Dear Ann Landers, I got a kick out of the reader who thought the "W" in women's sizes meant "Wide Butt." My letter is for every designer of women's clothing in the Western Hemisphere. I pray they will see it and pay attention.
I am 30 years old, wear size 18-20, and I have a question. Why don't designers realize that fat women have fat arms, too? When I find something I like, the sleeves are too short and too tight. The majority of the selections in my size are loud prints, as if people won't see me coming, anyway.
Thanks for letting me air my gripe in your column, Ann. Maybe someone will see it and make some changes. -- Unfit in Kansas
Dear Kansas, You have raised some valid questions, and I, too, hope the designers and dress manufacturers will pay attention.
Dear Ann Landers, Please publish this letter. I would like to send it to a young woman who needs to see it in print. As of now, she has done nothing to indicate that she knows how to behave decently.
My son recently attended the wedding of a friend who married the woman I'm writing about. Three days after the wedding, the groom told the bride (on their honeymoon) that he didn't love her and he was sorry he didn't have the courage to tell her so long before the ceremony. They came home and are now being divorced. Somehow, the bride ended up with all the money (a considerable amount) they received as wedding gifts.
The people who gave the couple money intended to help them start their lives together. I feel that by keeping the money, the woman is being selfish and behaving in a manner that is socially incorrect. That money, along with all the other wedding gifts, should have been returned to the senders. She has no right to benefit financially from this unfortunate incident. What do you think, Ann? -- Outraged in New York
Dear New York, I agree with you. I hope the ex-bride sees this column and decides to do the decent thing.
