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I belong to an informal dinner club that meets once a month for dinner in one of our homes.

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From Ann's Archives: 1955 to 2002
Dear Ann Landers,
I belong to an informal dinner club that meets once a month for dinner in one of our homes. One of the women has appointed herself "social director" and is making our lives miserable. "Irene" phones everyone to remind them of the upcoming dinner plans, which is fine. The problem is that she always tells the hostess what to serve. She does not have food allergies or any medical problems; she just likes certain things. Irene eats enough for two people, so making an extra dish for her is a major annoyance. The rest of us in the group do not want to disband, and Irene would be terribly hurt if we excluded her. Any suggestions? -- Too Much Cooking in Alabama

Dear T.M.C.,
 Since the major problem seems to be that Irene is too managerial, simply ignore her suggestions about what to serve. You do not owe her special privileges, or quadruple helpings. Treat her cordially, and make sure all the members have their first helping before Irene has her second -- and third.
Read More In:   relationships • manners
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Comments

  Jean's Comment
, I would call a meeting with the club and indicate that it's a new year and we're going to do things a little differently whoever holds the dinner will be responsible for selecting a menu and also whatever activities we will be doing for the remainder of the evening this way you don't have to say anything to her but you do it as if it's a group decision everyone should be happy and if they don't then oh well

  Sheryl's Comment
I live and am married to a nympho. We have been together since 2008 and got married in 2011. We are both 57 years old now. I don't want sex anymore. I love him but I don't have the desire anymore. Any suggestions. Female, O'Brien
 
What do you think?
 



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I belong to an informal dinner club that meets once a month for dinner in one of our homes. One of the women has appointed herself "social director" and is making our lives miserable. "Irene" phones everyone to remind them of the upcoming dinner plans, which is fine. The problem is that she always tells the hostess what to serve. She does not have food allergies or any medical problems; she just likes certain things. Irene eats enough for two people, so making an extra dish for her is a major annoyance. The rest of us in the group do not want to disband, and Irene would be terribly hurt if we excluded her. Any suggestions? -- Too Much Cooking in Alabama
READ MORE →
I belong to an informal dinner club that meets once a month for dinner in one of our homes. One of the women has appointed herself "social director" and is making our lives miserable. "Irene" phones everyone to remind them of the upcoming dinner plans, which is fine. The problem is that she always tells the hostess what to serve. She does not have food allergies or any medical problems; she just likes certain things. Irene eats enough for two people, so making an extra dish for her is a major annoyance. The rest of us in the group do not want to disband, and Irene would be terribly hurt if we excluded her. Any suggestions? -- Too Much Cooking in Alabama
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
READ MORE →
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois
READ MORE →
I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois
“
Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.
- Ann Landers
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I belong to an informal dinner club that meets once a month for dinner in one of our homes. One of the women has appointed herself "social director" and is making our lives miserable. "Irene" phones everyone to remind them of the upcoming dinner plans, which is fine. The problem is that she always tells the hostess what to serve. She does not have food allergies or any medical problems; she just likes certain things. Irene eats enough for two people, so making an extra dish for her is a major annoyance. The rest of us in the group do not want to disband, and Irene would be terribly hurt if we excluded her. Any suggestions? -- Too Much Cooking in Alabama
READ MORE →
I belong to an informal dinner club that meets once a month for dinner in one of our homes. One of the women has appointed herself "social director" and is making our lives miserable. "Irene" phones everyone to remind them of the upcoming dinner plans, which is fine. The problem is that she always tells the hostess what to serve. She does not have food allergies or any medical problems; she just likes certain things. Irene eats enough for two people, so making an extra dish for her is a major annoyance. The rest of us in the group do not want to disband, and Irene would be terribly hurt if we excluded her. Any suggestions? -- Too Much Cooking in Alabama
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
READ MORE →
So now I'm a prostitute-according to you. In a recent column you said, �When sex is used by a wife as payment for favors and is withheld as punishment, it places the marriage at the level of prostitution.� What else can a woman do when sex is her only effective weapon? I�ve been married to this character for eighteen years, and it�s the only approach that works. My husband�s income exceeds $40,000 a year. Every woman I know gets an allowance but me. My husband doesn�t believe a wife needs an allowance. He says, �What for? You�re home all day.� The only way I can get any money out of him is to nail him when he�s in an amorous mood. Now, do you blame me?�The Professional Amateur
I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois
READ MORE →
I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own. Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife. Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property. Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. -- Worried Parent in Illinois

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"Ask Ann Landers" was the country's #1 advice column for 47 years. Under her pen name Ann Landers, Eppie Lederer became an American media celebrity, only rivaled in popularity by her identical twin sister Pauline Phillips, better known as Dear Abby. Her advice was printed in English-language papers all over the world. She was the best read and most widely syndicated human relations adviser during her time as Ann Landers.

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