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Section: grief-and-loss

Dear Ann Landers,
Your response to "Tom in Atkinson," whose friend still had his deceased wife's voice on the answering machine, was heavy-handed. I married my wife after her father died. Her mother still keeps his voice on their answering machine, even though it's been five years since he passed away. The message he left is very funny, saying he's a robot. Whenever my wife calls and gets the machine, she says, "Hello, Daddy-bot" and leaves her message. Nobody expects him to call back, nor do we think he's really alive somewhere. My wife is not living in denial. It's just a sweet way to remember her father's voice. -- Greg in Lanham-Seabrook, Md.

Dear Greg,
I see your point and stand corrected. Thanks for hauling me up short. I had it coming. As I said before -- to each his own. If keeping a loved one's voice on the answering machine is comforting, so be it.

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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat."
-Ann Landers