Dear Ann Landers, I'm writing this as healing therapy and to ask for your advice. After 17 years, I began seeing a woman I used to date when we were both a lot younger. I traveled 150 miles round trip twice a week to see her and came to realize that I really did care for her a great deal. I also realized I was an absolute fool to have let her go 17 years before.
We were intimate on one occasion, and things seemed fine, when all of a sudden, she did a complete turnaround. The invitations for dinner stopped, and I could tell by her voice on the phone that something was wrong.
It has been 18 months since I have seen her. We argued over the phone last spring, mostly out of my frustration over the situation. She told me never to call her again but said she could call me. But no call has come, and I am devastated. I feel she owes me an explanation for cutting me out of her life so I can give this relationship some type of closure.
I miss her very much and don't feel I deserve this kind of treatment. I'm afraid I will never be able to trust another woman after this. Any suggestions? I am -- Hurt and Abandoned in Pa.
Dear Pa., If you haven't heard from the woman since last spring, I'd say that's a pretty strong signal that she did not care for you as much as you thought. As to why the relationship ended, it's of little importance. I suggest you accept the reality of the situation and start to look for another friend.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
She's probably married.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.