Dear Margo, We live in New York but spend six months every year at our Florida home. We've been in Florida for 14 years and have made many friends. Our daughter is getting married this coming New Year's Eve in NY. We have 8 couples from Florida we'd love to have attend, but we don't want to invite them as it may be an imposition, a tough travel time because of the holidays , and we don't need gifts. Could we put a note in with their invitations saying we would absolutely love them to attend, but we also understand the expense and hassle of travel during the holiday season? And add "We hope you know your presence is the present." Thank you. DonDB
Dear Don, You and your wife sound most thoughtful, and here's what I would suggest: Don't include the note you have in mind with the invitation, but by all means invite the Florida friends. Everyone knows it's an honor to be invited, because with the kids' friends and the friends of both sets of parents, it's hard to make the cut. What I would do is send the note you've outlined to the eight couples separately. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness. They will also know you've given them a pass. And I bet they all come! - Margo
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Dear Readers, , My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.