AnnLanders.com - Dear Ann Landers: My first wife passed away in 2008; we have an only child whom I am close to
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Section: family, health-and-wellness, marriage
 
 

Dear Margo,
My first wife passed away in 2008; we have an only child whom I am close to. I am re-married to a great lady and have spoken about my late wife many times to her. These discussions were prompted by my current wife. My current wife and son get along well and she also has 2 children. I should advise that her children are 20 & 22, and my son is 24 years old. The questions comes about where I should be buried at the end of my life. My son wants to have me with his mother and I would also like that, however I would also like to ask my current to be buried there. Is this appropriate? - Mark

,
ou are in luck. anything is appropriate now when it comes to resting places. People are buried with favorite possessions, urns with ashes are placed in mausoleums, green burials are a thing, as are "mushroom suit" burials. You did not mention your present wife's family history, but her people may have a family plot, or her two kids may not be down with you and two wives buried together. I do think your asking her if she would like to be buried with you would be received as a loving thought. Make her the offer and see what she says. Just as an aside, I am married to a man with a large family plot with only two more spaces -- for him and his brother. That's fine with me, because I don't like the thought of being cremated or being put in the ground, so I left it up to my kids and told them, "Surprise me."
- Margo

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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