Dear Margo,
I am 34 years old and about to have my first baby. My husband and I are thrilled beyond words. So, what's the problem? When I told my dad that he is about to become a grandfather, he said, "Not really. I am not your father." I was devastated when he told me that and immediately confronted my mother. She said, "Your dad doesn't know what he is talking about." My father says, "Your mother knows the truth and is lying through her teeth." I don't know what to make of this. Should I have a paternity test done to settle this once and for all, or should I just drop it? Why would my father tell me such a thing after all these years? I am in a state of shock. Please help me figure this out. -- Totally Baffled in Spokane, Wash.

Yesterday's Response:

Dear Spokane,
In order to prove paternity through a DNA test, you and your father would have to be tested. I doubt that your father would be willing to do this. Your mother appears to be much more stable. Take her word for it. For your father to tell you at this stage of your life that he is not your real dad suggests that he may be a few bricks short of a load. Let's hope that when the baby comes, he will be so thrilled that he will forget about this nonsense.

Today's Response:

Dear Spokane,
Your punitive father sounds mean and likely a few bricks shy of a load. And what a time to bring this up! It is possible that the "Grandpa" thing disturbed him, so he lashed out. I recall that my starter husband, the father of my children, told our elder daughter, when she had her first child, that no one was to call him "Grandpa." (Forever young, doncha' know). There's also evident hostility between your parents. Your mother tells you to ignore him; he responds that she's lying through her teeth. Because they can't seem to decide who did what to whom, when, forget it. I mean, this man has been the only father you've known. The baby might warm him up, but do ask him what name he would like to called when babycakes is old enough to talk.
- Margo