, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Section: behavior, family, marriage

Dear Margo,
My wife is an attractive woman of 65 and I am 68. We have been married for 2 years. Prior to a road trip with her 23 year old nephew, my wife mentioned that she was online searching for hotel rooms. Please note...rooms. When my wife returned from the three day trip, she informed me that she and her nephew shared a room to save money. We have both been very blessed financially and are well above average means. I have had no previous jealousy issues. Sharing a room with a child who is a nephew is cute and fun, but I have concerns about sharing a room with an adult nephew. Help please. - apkinga

Dear Apkinga,
My feeling is that if your wife were interested in sex with someone 42 years younger than she, you would not have been her choice for a spouse. Further, if she did have cougar inclinations, the child of one of her siblings would not have been her target. As for being financially secure, money, and people's attitude toward it, are often more emotional that realistic. People have strange economies, and often revert to earlier times. For example, the Depression was always in my mother's mind, to the point where she had her office staff soak uncancelled stamps (she said tea was the best for this!) to be glued on and reused. My favorite exemplar of a disconnect between actual wealth and behavior was a female financier during the Gilded Age named Hetty Green. She was tighter than a tick and named by the Guinness Book of World Records "the greatest miser. So just assume your wife of two years has a thing about the cost of staying in hotels.
- Margo

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Mimi's Comment
That answer succinctly distilled my own feelings after reading that letter - yeesh, hotel rooms are expensive and why waste money if a nephew - a nephew! - can have the other bed?! Go Margo.

Joe's Comment
I agree. She would know sex with the nephew was a no no and would not have announced the room sharing if that was her goal.

BeenThere's Comment
apkinga: Relax, man. Your wife was sharing a room with her NEPHEW - that's her sister's son - her Family. A kid that grew up with her. The hint here that there was nothing as you think going on - is that SHE TOLD YOU that they had shared a room - just to save YOU money. If she would have been cheating on you, would have taken a separate room. my two cents...
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"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
-Ann Landers