AnnLanders.com - Dear Ann Landers: Wonder if you could advise me:I had a falling out with a friend of 30 years
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Section: behavior, health-and-wellness, manners, relationships
 
 

Dear Margo,
Wonder if you could advise me:I had a falling out with a friend of 30 years. I am feeling betrayed by another friend. This friend secretly plans outings with the friend of 30 years. She feels the need to hide from me that she sees this friend of mine. This friend (the one I feel is betraying me) never knew the other woman until I introduced them to each other. Can you explain this to me? I feel hurt, even mad. - Catty

Dear Catty,
You seem to be forgetting what you wrote, and what I believe to be the key to your problem: you and your longtime friend had a falling out. This means you are no longer close. I don't think they are "secretly planning outings;" they are just not including you because ... the two of you had a falling out. Your feelings of betrayal are misplaced because it is a fact of life that some people, when they are introduced, hit it off. It is a bit grade school-ish to think, "Well, I introduced them, so they should include me." I hope you can rethink the situation in a more mature way.
- Margo

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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