Dear Ann Landers,
y wife announced unashamedly that she could not remain true to me because I am "low-key, undemonstrative, unaffectionate, and indifferent." Will you please tell me how a man can work up any enthusiasm for a hypocritical, sanctimonious, self-centered, detached, insensi-tive, erratic, twisted, stupid, unresponsive, uncommunicative, warped, sullen, capricious, unpredictable, deceitful, punitive, self-righteous, obstinate woman who has never been wrong about anything in her whole life? And don't tell me I need a doctor. What I need is a woman.-Smart But Dumb

Dear Smart But,
You must be dumber than you are smart, or you would not have married a hypocritical, sanctimonious, self-centered, detached, insensitive, erratic, twisted, stupid, unresponsive, uncommunicative, warped, sullen, capricious, unpredictable, deceitful, punitive, self-righteous, obstinate woman who has never been wrong about anything in her whole life.