, Advice by Ann Landers - []
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Section: sexuality, relationships, manners

Dear Ann Landers,
I would like to respond to the woman in Pittsburgh who misses the companionship of marriage, and wants to find a "nice man" now that her husband has been dead for several years. Here is a list of things NOT to do. Do not wear your wedding ring when you go out in public. It will scare the good ones off, and the bums will hit on you, anyway. Do not tell your date you have had enough sex and that you are not interested in more. It's a turn-off, and you could change your mind later. Do not continue to support your 35-year-old son who lives with you. You are "enabling" him. Kick him out. Do not tell your date that your dead husband was a saint. It's amazing how death improves people. Do not expect him to pay for everything. These are the '90s, and you are not 21 anymore. Do not sit at home and gain 50 pounds. Get out, and go to places where intelligent people gather. There are some good men out there who are lonely. Make the effort, and you will find them. -- Experienced in Florida

Dear Florida,
Thanks for that sensible advice. I hope they listen.

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Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers