Dear Ann Landers,
30 in the evening. It seemed like a great idea to me since the children get along very well with Babette, and our home is a pleasant and fa-miliar place to them. The problem is that Babette believes that she should be paid the same as any other child-care provider because she is performing a ser-vice for which my former wife has paid others in the past. My former wife feels that Babette is obligated to watch the children for free because they are, after all, my children and she is now my wife. Babette says it's not so much the money but the idea that my ex-wife is just trying to take advantage of her. I love my children and am in the middle of a battle between these two women who are not crazy about each other to begin with. Do you have a solution? -Between a Rock and a Boulder in Colorado

Dear Rock or Boulder, whichever seems more comfortable,
I can understand Babette's resentment because she feels your ex-wife is taking advantage of her. However, in my opinion, she should be willing to take care of the children without being paid. After all, they are your kids, and she is their stepmother, not just a person sent by an employment agency. I suspect this may be Babette's way of sticking it to your first wife. Not only is her behavior ungenerous, but if she loves you, such mean-spiritedness will not do much to enhance the relationship. Is there an unbiased third party who can talk to Babette? When I printed that letter, I had no idea it would create such an uproar. Stepmothers and ex-wives all over the country wrote to let me know how they felt. A radio talk-show host did an entire show around this column. Here's the follow-up I did on it: