Dear Ann Landers, o I have the right to ask my older sister if she is gay? There are many telltale signs that lead me to believe she is. "Lisa" was a member of a sorority for four years and lived in the sorority house with some very masculine-looking girls. Very few of the girls in that sorority went out with guys. I can't believe they never got asked. My guess is they enjoyed each other's company more. My sister never dates. At present, she is awfully close with a woman friend. They spend nights at one another's homes and are on the phone constantly. One doesn't make a move without the other. Both my brothers and I think something is strange. Should I ask "Lisa" the question straight-out? -A Doubting Sister in a N.Y. Suburb
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Dear Readers, , and we have been going together for almost a year. He is very af-fectionate but has made no effort to become intimate, although he has hinted strongly that he would like to marry me. WAKE lirAM SMELL TIE COFFEE! HI At first I thought he was refreshingly old-fashioned and respected him for it. Later I decided he was extremely shy. Now I am almost cer-tain the man is impotent. Please tell me how I can let him know this sexual dysfunction would not make a particle of difference to me. I be-lieve when you sincerely love a man, you accept him as he is. Many marriages have plenty of sex but fall apart because love and trust, kindness and respect are missing. To share this man’s life and fall asleep in his arms every night would be enough for me. The bond cre-ated by intimate caressing and tender words can be much more mean-ingful than the consummated act between people who don’t care about one another. How can I let him know my feelings without putting him on the defensive? -Knowledgeable in Sarasota
