- Dear Ann Landers: My father recently passed away.
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Section: aging, relationships, grief-and-loss

Dear Ann Landers,
My father recently passed away. He was 95. Right up to the end, his mind was active, and he was alert and aware. My sister and I were at his bedside, along with my father's wife. For several days, my stepmother insisted on whispering into Dad's ear that it was OK to die, OK to let go. She urged him "to follow the light." To me, it sounded like she was telling him to give up and get it over with. I found this offensive and disturbing. When I told her how I felt, she insisted she only wanted to make things easier for Dad. What do you say? -- Bob in New York

Dear N.Y.,
At 95, I doubt that anything she said to your father would have made much difference one way or the other. It sounds to me as if the real problem is an undercurrent of hostility between you and your stepmother. Give it up, and let your father rest in peace.

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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
,This guy is a good friend, calls me a lot. If I don't answer he asks me to call him. Few times he said he would call but did not. Us it forgetful,distracted, or something else?

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers