Dear Ann Landers,
Our wives are both too fat. I don't know about Jack, but I haven't had sex with my wife in four years. She gradually has ballooned in size and is now at least 100 pounds overweight. There are no physical reasons for her to be so heavy. It is simply a lack of self-discipline. She loves to eat and denies herself nothing. I love my wife and would never be unfaithful, but making love to this woman is physically and emotionally impossible. She is very sensitive about her weight and refers to herself jokingly as being "pleasingly plump." Ann, pleasingly plump she is not. She is just plain fat, and her obesity has turned me off to the point that I am impotent. Incidentally, I am an insulin-dependent diabetic, but my sex drive is still strong. Please tell me, Ann, How do I solve this problem that has made my marriage bed a place where nothing happens?

Dear Jack,
The reason for your wife's obesity may be rooted in something deeper than her lack of self-discipline. One hundred pounds of excess baggage could be the result of compulsive eating, but please don't rule out a metabolic problem. I hope you will urge your wife to get a physical checkup. After that, she needs some counseling to find out not what she is eating but what is eating her. And you, my friend, should discuss with your doctor the reason nothing is happening in your marriage bed. While your wife's additional weight may be a turnoff, your diabetes could be a contributing factor.