, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Section: behavior, children, health-and-wellness, sexuality

Dear Margo,
My little brother (almost 13) hasn't had "the talk" yet and is extremely modest. When it comes to changing his shirt and pants, he won't let anyone else (not even our grandfather) into the room with him. He really needs the talk but none of us knows how to go about it, although we've joked about tying him to a chair. What do we do?? - Kristen

Dear Kristen,
It is my understanding that sex ed classes are now part of most grade schools. Check with his school as to how they deal (or don't deal) with sex education. Also, oftentimes kids know more than you think. I can tell you this: with or without school, a lot of kids hear "the talk" from friends. (The problem with this is it's not always accurate.) I'm not sure his excessive modesty is connected to whether or not he has had "the talk." There's a chance he has some imperfection on his torso that he wishes no one to see. Being seen shirtless is not usually a question of privacy or modesty for a male. There's a possibility that there's some psychological problem hanging him up that could have to do with body image or gender questions. Give this a little time and see where things go. Good luck with your little bro.
- Margo

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers