Dear Ann Landers, I plan to be married in a few months and need some advice. My fiance and I have been together for almost seven years and have all the appliances and accessories we need to furnish our new apartment. We could use some furniture, however, and are now in the process of looking at chairs, tables and so on.
Several friends and relatives have let us know they want to give us a shower or a party. We really don't need presents. We would be thrilled if they would give us money so we could buy furniture. Is there a polite way we could ask for money instead of a shower or wedding gift without looking tacky? - Broke in Mississippi
Dear Broke, If you have a close relationship with aunts, uncles or cousins and they ask, "What do you NEED?" it would be OK to say, "We have everything we need except furniture and are now looking at several pieces. If you'd like to give us a check to help furnish our apartment, that would be wonderful."
I know of no polite way to ask friends or relatives who want to give you a shower or wedding gift to give you money instead.
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Joe's Comment
They could register at a furniture store.
Reader Comment
I’ve been where you are and I wracked my brain for a polite way to say money was preferred over more tangible gifts. There isn’t one. What we did: we didn’t include any information about registries with the invitations so most people took the hint and gave us money anyway. Good luck! It’s hard to know what to do with that third blender.
Please share your comments below:
Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:
Dear Readers, , whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.
