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Dear Ann Landers,
y family situation is unbearable. My 15-year- old stepdaughter, "Lottie," has been living with my husband and me for 18 months. She left her mother's house by mutual agreement be-cause she could not get along with her mother's live-in boyfriend. Be-fore this, she used to visit us twice a month, and to be perfectly honest, I did not look forward to seeing her. I cannot say anything good about having this girl around. She is rude and sneaky, has flunked several classes and has no interest in school. Her friends slink in and out of our home and are an unwhole- some-looking lot. I have found evidence of pot smoking. To put it bluntly, I am fed up to the teeth with this girl and the way she has dis-rupted our lives. My husband's head is buried in the sand. He says, "She is just exper-imenting. It's a stage she is going through. She only yells at us to show off to her friends." Ann, I wasn't raised this way. I barely speak to Lot-tie, and I am losing respect for my husband. I have tried therapy, but neither my husband nor Lottie will go. I think Lottie should go back to her mother. I don't want to break up my family, but I can no longer tolerate this girl's daily tirades. Our home is like a war zone. I'm sure Lottie doesn't want to leave. She has her daddy conned. My husband says his ex-wife is not fit to raise their daughter. Where do I go from here? -Losing It Fast

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Dear Readers,
, “I really ought to make a will.” She never did. Last week she died, and before the body was cold my cousins were fighting over her possessions. It was an ugly spectacle. Some months ago my mother gave me an antique silver service. Later I found out she had promised it to my sister. We are both dis-tressed by mother’s forgetfulness, and neither of us wants to hurt her feelings by mentioning her previous commitment. My sister is not greedy and neither am I. We can live with whatever the most recent will decrees. I realize that making a will is an admission of the inevitability of death. While this understandably is difficult, one of the most thought-ful gestures a parent can make is to draw up a will or simply a hand-written paper designating what he or she wishes done with material possessions. Please urge parents (everyone, for that matter) to ease the burden of their passing by making a will. And do it today-there may not be a tomorrow. -A Loving Child, Anywhere USA

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers