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Dear Ann Landers,
s I was snitching a bit of potato salad from the bowl in the fridge before supper last night, my wife caught me and in-sisted that I read your column about the "hog-mouth" husband who was too lazy to get a plate. Now that I have been properly chastened, I will, of course, give up this foul habit. Thanks to 25 years of Ann Landers' brilliant counsel-ing, my wife has molded me into a model of perfection. I no longer dance at parties with a lamp shade on my head, nor do I pinch the fan

dear woman, the pressure of being perfect is getting to me. You and I must be the only two perfect people in the world. How do you deal with it, Annie Baby? -Dudley Dull from the Midwest Dear Dud,
It's easy. I wear my hair in a bouffant style so the halo doesn't show and my clothes are cut to allow extra room for wings. And now may I ask you a question? Do you brush your teeth with gun-powder? Since you do such a good job of shooting your mouth off, I thought I'd ask.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other."
-Ann Landers