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Dear Ann Landers,
hen I was fourteen, I made a big mistake with an older boy. Fortunately, I did not get preg-nant. I read in your column recently where you said a girl should not tell her fiance about such things. I hope you will not think I am dumb, but I would like to know if my fiance will know about my mistake even if I don't tell him. I hope you dig what I am talking about.-Sixteen But Not So Sweet

Dear Not So,
I dig, and the answer is probably not. Some-times a girl who has never had sexual relations needs to undergo minor surgery, but this is rare. In most instances there is no 100 percent unmistakable evidence of virginity.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
-Ann Landers