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Dear Ann Landers,
y wife is one of the sweetest girls in the world. Delores has given me a fine family, and we have everything we could ask for. The problem is her drinking, but she's not a lush. After one cocktail Delores gets into argu-ments and says insulting things to her best friends. When she remembers what she said the next day, she goes into a depres-sion. After two drinks she passes out, cold as a mackerel. She never drinks at home-only when we go out. This has been going on for two years. Every time it happens, Delores takes an oath on her mother's fife that she will never touch another drop of alcohol, but when she gets out of my sight at a party, she's as good as passed out. What can I do to help her? -D.F.L.

Dear D.F.L.,
Your wife's form of alcoholism is unusual. She needs help. It's useless, however, to try to force help on people who do not believe they need it. When (and if) she expresses the need for help, suggest A.A.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers